We've got scads of snow on the ground here in Northern Ohio and we took full advantage of the snow to be extraordinarily lazy over the weekend! Friday night, I had to attend a dessert & coffee meeting to plan for our church discussion group's next meeting. We're discussing the separation of church and state, which promises to be interesting & which I am disappointed to miss. However, J and I are already scheduled to take the boys down to see her dad and there's no way we'll be back in time. I was glad not to be driving Friday night, as the roads were pretty snowy. I was not glad to be out & about when I could be home with J, though. The meeting could easily have been handled by e-mail and definitely did not have to last until 10 p.m.! When I have a church of my own, there will be no Friday night meetings! We had a late dinner of pastelon (a traditional Camaguey chicken & corn casserole-like recipe-my version of which got terribly dried out due to being cooked before my meeting and left to wait on us being ready to eat), black beans & rice and tostones with garlic lime aioli. We were up really late, J working on her jigsaw puzzle and me working on a crossword. Not terribly exciting, but cozy and fun.
We were shockingly lazy Saturday. I got up & made scones and coffee, chatting with my mom & Graham all the while, but we ended up lazing about in bed watching trash television for hours. At 3, we finally turned off the Kardashians and went to Max and Erma's for lunch. We took a deck of cards and ordered appetizers to split over a game of rummy. On the way home, we stopped by the pottery place to pick up the things we painted last week and by a local bakery for morning doughnuts. J got so involved in her puzzle that she never got around to dinner, so it was a grab it & growl night. I made myself a bowl of popcorn and a mug of tea and pronounced it good.
Sunday morning, we didn't fight the elements to get to church. We probably should have, since we won't be there next weekend, but we slept in. Then, J made the fajitas she'd planned to make for Saturday dinner. They made a much more pleasing brunch. Yum! After brunch, we got out the beading supplies and each made an eyeglasses holder, the kind people who only have to wear reading glasses get to use. They will be gifts. It was a delight to make them! J had planned to have us make jam for our J date, but finding the supplies hard to obtain at this time of year, she switched to jewelry-making. We spent some time grocery shopping after that. J spent her evening engaged in soup-making for the folks at work while I watched the Golden Globes.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Sunday, January 04, 2009
I is for Inn
A couple of months ago, I was asked by the pastor of a church in Amish country to substitute preach for her while she had a vacation. Since the weekend of the preaching gig (my first paying one! How exciting!) fell between my graduation and our 7 year wedding anniversary, I took the liberty of booking an inn room nearby. The drive is about an hour from our house and I certainly didn't want to drive it that Sunday morning. The deacon who was my liaison with the church recommended the Red Maple Inn so I booked there.
Friday night, we arrived around 6 and took immediate advantage of their hors d'oeuvres hour, drinking hot tea and wine by the fire as we munched on cheese, crackers and grapes. J got comfy in their massage chair, too, while I curled up in a cozy wingback and read the sequel to Chocolat, which is called The Girl with No Shadow and is great. We finally made our way to our room with our luggage. It was a very nice size, with a little balcony looking out over fields and with a very generously-sized tub fitted with Jacuzzi jets. Ahh. We popped out for dinner at Cogan's Village (Idiot) Eatery. It was plastered with all kinds of interesting posters, signs, license plates and such, like a more authentic version of what TGIF is trying to do. They advertised lousy food & bad service (or was it vice versa?) but we found that not to be true. Okay, the French onion soup kind of sucked, but J's New England clam chowder was tasty and our main courses were good. J had liver and onions for the second time in December while I chose one of the daily specials, a big dish of kielbasa, potatoes and peppers all fried up together. We were both drooping from colds and the comfort food was perfect. We spent the rest of the evening relaxing in the room, J oohing and aahing as she sank into a deep hot tub of bubbles.
In the morning, we went down to the dining room for the "delicious" and "amazing" breakfast we'd read so many comments about in the room's guest book. I was, quite frankly, disappointed in the selection and quality. It was not even on a par with the Comfort Inn where we stay when we go to Cross Lanes, WV. Comfort Inn! I don't understand why the breakfast (or the bed) got rave reviews. When I am paying as much as I did for a room with breakfast, I expect the breakfast to be higher quality than a decidedly non-luxury motel chain's continental breakfast. Ah, well, the fireplace, hors d'oeuvres hour and tub made up for it. Besides, we were in for more good food than we realized that day.
After breakfast, we first drove over to the church, to make sure we could find it come Sunday. It was really fun because we kept seeing Amish folks in buggies & wagons or walking along the road with covered dishes in wagons they pulled behind them. Neither of us had ever been in Amish country before, for any period of time and it was exciting to see that kind of community. It was cool to see the clothes flapping on the lines & the enormous and stunning draft horses in fields, too. After we found the (quite old and very picturesque) church, we drove back to Burton and poked around the town square a bit. J got a cafe au lait and I fell in love with prayer bowls at a shop featuring hand-crafted items and art. I picked up a darling Christmas bear in a robe and nightcap for dirt-cheap and we got some locally produced maple syrup and maple sugar candy at the sugar house located in the log cabin in the middle of the square.
When we'd seen the whole square (and I'd fallen in love with a huge birthday cake of a house), we plugged in J's new GPS and let it guide us to Chardon, where we had reservations for afternoon tea at 2. There didn't seem to be much in the way of shops in the main square area, although we did find a cool antique shop where J picked up a 1950 lesbian-themed pulp and I got several black and white photos to add to our collection, as well as a delightful brown velvet hat from Marshall Fields, complete with gorgeous hat pins. Again, for a song. We also located a drug store & picked up some cold meds. We seem to have bad luck with December getaway weekends-the year we went to Oglebay for our anniversary, J had a raging head cold, too. This one was milder, luckily.
When we arrived for tea at Rosepointe Cottage, we had to wait for our table. The entire front room was dripping with bridal shower guests. It was fun to watch them having fun with one another. We waited in the cute little upstairs shop (the tea room is in an old house) and I got to leaf through some books about Emma Lea and her adventures with tea. Then, it was time for tea. There was only one other table in the back room, filled with a family of women. We guessed two sisters and the 40-something daughters of one of the sisters. One of the daughters was wearing a wonderful hat and reminded me of my dear friend Suzanne, who has delicious adventures and lives in a house worthy of feature in Martha Stewart Living. I wanted to go up to her and say, "Will you be my friend?" Another sister reminded me a good deal of Ina Garten. They were fun to observe.
We were too busy enjoying our tea and hatching plots to have a monthly girl gathering to observe too closely, though. J got some kind of tangerine tea while I chose Earl Grey, my perennial favorite. We each got a cup of the amazing corn & pumpkin chowder, perfect for two sick girls like us. Then, the tea commenced with plates of scrumptious tea sandwiches. There was cucumber and ham salad and cream cheese on date bread and chicken salad in a mini croissant. I think there was another-should have taken notes! Next came a scone for each of us, served with plenty of clotted cream and jam. Finally, a plate of "tea fancies" that was not terribly appealing due to the facts that A. we were already quite full and B. they were still a smidge frozen. Tsk, tsk, tsk. No matter because the rest of the food and the whole atmosphere were so refreshingly delicious. J decided that she likes taking tea so much that she wants us to do it once a month. I have no objection whatsoever! Lady food, pretty dishes and a room overflowing with estrogen? I'm there! I've already done some research about others in our area. I definitely want to take her to Miss Molly's in Medina, where our art group had such a fun Christmas tea. I wish J had been able to attend the tea, but we can at least go back.
After tea, we went driving out to Middlefield to check out the cheese factory. We picked up some dill butter cheese, some sharp cheddar spread and some colby-jack there (as well as some more maple candy for my sweet tooth). Then, we checked out this very odd gift shop with a ton of beads, Indian stuff and hokey gift items. Really cheesy stuff mixed in with really neat stuff. I found some glass earrings for my ma, a non-fakey dreamcatcher to replace my beloved one that got smashed in the closet door (don't ask) and one for my cousin, Leah, who I'd already gotten a tiara for, but who had expressed a desire for a dream catcher, too. We drove back to the inn as dusk came on, marveling at the buggies and spirited horses that we passed. We even saw a teenage girl in a cloak just turning up her long lane.
Back at the inn, we again enjoyed wine & cheese by the fire, chatting with the couple we'd met the night before and both using the massage chair. Then, we headed out for our anniversary dinner at the Welshfield Inn, which we chose due to their unpretentious menu and history. It used to be a stop on the Underground Railroad. How cool is that? It was utterly lovely outside and in, with a gracious porch and big trees in front and low dark-wood ceilings inside. Somehow, we managed to score a table right by the fire, which was so cozy and perfect. Our waitress was so on the ball, but not at all overbearing. We started with their amazing rolls, one variety savory with seeds and salt sprinkled on top, the other a handmade cinnamon roll that was tops. J ordered pan-seared scallops with asparagus and peppers in a lovely cream sauce made with chardonnay, lemon and lobster. I had a salad of mesclun with Granny Smith matchsticks, grapes, blueberries, toasted walnuts and Gorgonzola tossed with a hint of raspberry vinaigrette. Both were immensely pleasurable to eat. We both chose specials for our main courses. J had a splendid halibut dish, again with a light cream sauce, with all kinds of sprightly veggies and a side of wild rice pilaf. Mine was a plate of gorgeously braised short ribs with a red wine reduction, plated with well-made mashed potatoes and perfectly-cooked, vividly green beans. It was a shame that we had no room for dessert because I have no doubt it would have been as stellar as the dinner.
After dinner, it was my turn in the tub. It was so lush and relaxing. I miss the one in the apartment we first shared, where we would take our Monday bubble bath with the YSO blues show after the kids went to bed. I miss the skylight, too. We would make love and hear the rain hitting the skylight. Sigh. I hope we can have those things, and a fireplace, again sometime. But in a bigger place. With room for a library & a studio. With a front porch and back deck like the ones we enjoy here. With a gourmet kitchen. Dreaming never hurts!
I awoke Sunday morning feeling entirely too wretched for words, all snotty and coughing like a tubercular ward full of patients, as well as with a churning stomach. I don't know if the stomach was nerves, but it did feel much better after the service, so I assume it was. Damned inconvenient! The service itself went great. I got incredibly nervous once I started sussing out the congregation, but I left the gay stuff in the sermon and they seemed to like it all just fine. I had a number of people come up to me with specific compliments, instead of just "Good sermon" and a handshake. Actually, there was no hand shaking because I didn't want to pass on whatever vile bug I'd picked up. I hope they didn't find that too weird for words. I also got a swarm of older women gathered around me telling me the most wonderful stories about the history of the church, the area, the women's suffrage advocates there in the 1870s...it was great fun for an extroverted history buff like me. I'd've gone to lunch with them in a heartbeat just to hear more stories. It's a very small congregation (I heard they worshipped 45 Christmas Eve) and many are descended from the founding families, so it was just fascinating.
I also heard from the man who served as liturgist (who, incidentally, joined the church in 1935!) that they'd been on the verge of a vote to leave the denomination over the marriage equality resolution. In that very meeting, a man who was descended from the founding families stood up & said that he hoped that he could someday marry his partner in that church. And that, my friends, ended talk of leaving. Like magic! He also told me about the funeral of one of the church saints, an African-American man who was very well-respected by everyone. At his funeral, his son's partner stood up and spoke with great beauty and great love about "the man who would have been his father-in-law." That, too, helped the congregation see more clearly how Jesus would have them act toward gay people. Finally, he told me about another church in the area that did leave over the issue. The pastor made anti-gay stuff "his holy grail" and ended up losing several valuable members to the church where I preached. I'd no idea of any of this backstory when I chose to preach with an inclusion of LGBT issues and honesty about my own life. I'm glad it worked out. I am more convinced than ever that it is crucial for anyone in the LGBT community who can afford to come out (meaning, won't lose job, home, kids or anything crucial like that) to do so. I think it's one of the key factors in increasing acceptance.
After church, we decided to meander our way home on backroads, through Little Italy and other enticing as-yet-unexplored parts of the city. Had we both felt better, I imagine we'd've stopped somewhere like Guarino's for lunch. As it was, we dragged ourselves into The Pub for goat cheese dip and a split roast beef sandwich. Then, we took our sick butts home to bed, with tea, by 4 p.m.
Friday night, we arrived around 6 and took immediate advantage of their hors d'oeuvres hour, drinking hot tea and wine by the fire as we munched on cheese, crackers and grapes. J got comfy in their massage chair, too, while I curled up in a cozy wingback and read the sequel to Chocolat, which is called The Girl with No Shadow and is great. We finally made our way to our room with our luggage. It was a very nice size, with a little balcony looking out over fields and with a very generously-sized tub fitted with Jacuzzi jets. Ahh. We popped out for dinner at Cogan's Village (Idiot) Eatery. It was plastered with all kinds of interesting posters, signs, license plates and such, like a more authentic version of what TGIF is trying to do. They advertised lousy food & bad service (or was it vice versa?) but we found that not to be true. Okay, the French onion soup kind of sucked, but J's New England clam chowder was tasty and our main courses were good. J had liver and onions for the second time in December while I chose one of the daily specials, a big dish of kielbasa, potatoes and peppers all fried up together. We were both drooping from colds and the comfort food was perfect. We spent the rest of the evening relaxing in the room, J oohing and aahing as she sank into a deep hot tub of bubbles.
In the morning, we went down to the dining room for the "delicious" and "amazing" breakfast we'd read so many comments about in the room's guest book. I was, quite frankly, disappointed in the selection and quality. It was not even on a par with the Comfort Inn where we stay when we go to Cross Lanes, WV. Comfort Inn! I don't understand why the breakfast (or the bed) got rave reviews. When I am paying as much as I did for a room with breakfast, I expect the breakfast to be higher quality than a decidedly non-luxury motel chain's continental breakfast. Ah, well, the fireplace, hors d'oeuvres hour and tub made up for it. Besides, we were in for more good food than we realized that day.
After breakfast, we first drove over to the church, to make sure we could find it come Sunday. It was really fun because we kept seeing Amish folks in buggies & wagons or walking along the road with covered dishes in wagons they pulled behind them. Neither of us had ever been in Amish country before, for any period of time and it was exciting to see that kind of community. It was cool to see the clothes flapping on the lines & the enormous and stunning draft horses in fields, too. After we found the (quite old and very picturesque) church, we drove back to Burton and poked around the town square a bit. J got a cafe au lait and I fell in love with prayer bowls at a shop featuring hand-crafted items and art. I picked up a darling Christmas bear in a robe and nightcap for dirt-cheap and we got some locally produced maple syrup and maple sugar candy at the sugar house located in the log cabin in the middle of the square.
When we'd seen the whole square (and I'd fallen in love with a huge birthday cake of a house), we plugged in J's new GPS and let it guide us to Chardon, where we had reservations for afternoon tea at 2. There didn't seem to be much in the way of shops in the main square area, although we did find a cool antique shop where J picked up a 1950 lesbian-themed pulp and I got several black and white photos to add to our collection, as well as a delightful brown velvet hat from Marshall Fields, complete with gorgeous hat pins. Again, for a song. We also located a drug store & picked up some cold meds. We seem to have bad luck with December getaway weekends-the year we went to Oglebay for our anniversary, J had a raging head cold, too. This one was milder, luckily.
When we arrived for tea at Rosepointe Cottage, we had to wait for our table. The entire front room was dripping with bridal shower guests. It was fun to watch them having fun with one another. We waited in the cute little upstairs shop (the tea room is in an old house) and I got to leaf through some books about Emma Lea and her adventures with tea. Then, it was time for tea. There was only one other table in the back room, filled with a family of women. We guessed two sisters and the 40-something daughters of one of the sisters. One of the daughters was wearing a wonderful hat and reminded me of my dear friend Suzanne, who has delicious adventures and lives in a house worthy of feature in Martha Stewart Living. I wanted to go up to her and say, "Will you be my friend?" Another sister reminded me a good deal of Ina Garten. They were fun to observe.
We were too busy enjoying our tea and hatching plots to have a monthly girl gathering to observe too closely, though. J got some kind of tangerine tea while I chose Earl Grey, my perennial favorite. We each got a cup of the amazing corn & pumpkin chowder, perfect for two sick girls like us. Then, the tea commenced with plates of scrumptious tea sandwiches. There was cucumber and ham salad and cream cheese on date bread and chicken salad in a mini croissant. I think there was another-should have taken notes! Next came a scone for each of us, served with plenty of clotted cream and jam. Finally, a plate of "tea fancies" that was not terribly appealing due to the facts that A. we were already quite full and B. they were still a smidge frozen. Tsk, tsk, tsk. No matter because the rest of the food and the whole atmosphere were so refreshingly delicious. J decided that she likes taking tea so much that she wants us to do it once a month. I have no objection whatsoever! Lady food, pretty dishes and a room overflowing with estrogen? I'm there! I've already done some research about others in our area. I definitely want to take her to Miss Molly's in Medina, where our art group had such a fun Christmas tea. I wish J had been able to attend the tea, but we can at least go back.
After tea, we went driving out to Middlefield to check out the cheese factory. We picked up some dill butter cheese, some sharp cheddar spread and some colby-jack there (as well as some more maple candy for my sweet tooth). Then, we checked out this very odd gift shop with a ton of beads, Indian stuff and hokey gift items. Really cheesy stuff mixed in with really neat stuff. I found some glass earrings for my ma, a non-fakey dreamcatcher to replace my beloved one that got smashed in the closet door (don't ask) and one for my cousin, Leah, who I'd already gotten a tiara for, but who had expressed a desire for a dream catcher, too. We drove back to the inn as dusk came on, marveling at the buggies and spirited horses that we passed. We even saw a teenage girl in a cloak just turning up her long lane.
Back at the inn, we again enjoyed wine & cheese by the fire, chatting with the couple we'd met the night before and both using the massage chair. Then, we headed out for our anniversary dinner at the Welshfield Inn, which we chose due to their unpretentious menu and history. It used to be a stop on the Underground Railroad. How cool is that? It was utterly lovely outside and in, with a gracious porch and big trees in front and low dark-wood ceilings inside. Somehow, we managed to score a table right by the fire, which was so cozy and perfect. Our waitress was so on the ball, but not at all overbearing. We started with their amazing rolls, one variety savory with seeds and salt sprinkled on top, the other a handmade cinnamon roll that was tops. J ordered pan-seared scallops with asparagus and peppers in a lovely cream sauce made with chardonnay, lemon and lobster. I had a salad of mesclun with Granny Smith matchsticks, grapes, blueberries, toasted walnuts and Gorgonzola tossed with a hint of raspberry vinaigrette. Both were immensely pleasurable to eat. We both chose specials for our main courses. J had a splendid halibut dish, again with a light cream sauce, with all kinds of sprightly veggies and a side of wild rice pilaf. Mine was a plate of gorgeously braised short ribs with a red wine reduction, plated with well-made mashed potatoes and perfectly-cooked, vividly green beans. It was a shame that we had no room for dessert because I have no doubt it would have been as stellar as the dinner.
After dinner, it was my turn in the tub. It was so lush and relaxing. I miss the one in the apartment we first shared, where we would take our Monday bubble bath with the YSO blues show after the kids went to bed. I miss the skylight, too. We would make love and hear the rain hitting the skylight. Sigh. I hope we can have those things, and a fireplace, again sometime. But in a bigger place. With room for a library & a studio. With a front porch and back deck like the ones we enjoy here. With a gourmet kitchen. Dreaming never hurts!
I awoke Sunday morning feeling entirely too wretched for words, all snotty and coughing like a tubercular ward full of patients, as well as with a churning stomach. I don't know if the stomach was nerves, but it did feel much better after the service, so I assume it was. Damned inconvenient! The service itself went great. I got incredibly nervous once I started sussing out the congregation, but I left the gay stuff in the sermon and they seemed to like it all just fine. I had a number of people come up to me with specific compliments, instead of just "Good sermon" and a handshake. Actually, there was no hand shaking because I didn't want to pass on whatever vile bug I'd picked up. I hope they didn't find that too weird for words. I also got a swarm of older women gathered around me telling me the most wonderful stories about the history of the church, the area, the women's suffrage advocates there in the 1870s...it was great fun for an extroverted history buff like me. I'd've gone to lunch with them in a heartbeat just to hear more stories. It's a very small congregation (I heard they worshipped 45 Christmas Eve) and many are descended from the founding families, so it was just fascinating.
I also heard from the man who served as liturgist (who, incidentally, joined the church in 1935!) that they'd been on the verge of a vote to leave the denomination over the marriage equality resolution. In that very meeting, a man who was descended from the founding families stood up & said that he hoped that he could someday marry his partner in that church. And that, my friends, ended talk of leaving. Like magic! He also told me about the funeral of one of the church saints, an African-American man who was very well-respected by everyone. At his funeral, his son's partner stood up and spoke with great beauty and great love about "the man who would have been his father-in-law." That, too, helped the congregation see more clearly how Jesus would have them act toward gay people. Finally, he told me about another church in the area that did leave over the issue. The pastor made anti-gay stuff "his holy grail" and ended up losing several valuable members to the church where I preached. I'd no idea of any of this backstory when I chose to preach with an inclusion of LGBT issues and honesty about my own life. I'm glad it worked out. I am more convinced than ever that it is crucial for anyone in the LGBT community who can afford to come out (meaning, won't lose job, home, kids or anything crucial like that) to do so. I think it's one of the key factors in increasing acceptance.
After church, we decided to meander our way home on backroads, through Little Italy and other enticing as-yet-unexplored parts of the city. Had we both felt better, I imagine we'd've stopped somewhere like Guarino's for lunch. As it was, we dragged ourselves into The Pub for goat cheese dip and a split roast beef sandwich. Then, we took our sick butts home to bed, with tea, by 4 p.m.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Girly Girl Weekend
I guess I started my weekend a little early, with a Yellow Springs jaunt with my cousin Leah. My aunt Jeanie was planning to go, too, but the bronchitis had not let go of her yet. So, it was just the two of us. We started with lunch at The Winds, always a good thing in my book. We split the Winter Is Upon Us salad, mixed greens with pear slices, cheddar, fennel pistachios and a pear vinaigrette as an appetizer. Then, she chose the steak frites with garlic aioli and I had the Blue Christmas, a dish I dream about all year. It's very simple, but very good. It combines Christmas limas with cabbage, blue cheese and hot rice. Dessert was their incomparable chocolate mousse for me & Jeni's fabulous cognac ice cream, with a shortbread cookie, for Leah. After lunch, the snow was coming down in giant gorgeous flakes, making it seem like we were living a fairy tale. We poked around the shops & I picked up a few little things for J's stocking. On the way home, we hit Target for a few things, including a sweet little purse for me to carry to the seminary's Christmas Ball.
There was just enough time for me to have a tub and primp for the ball. I dressed in a black taffeta ball skirt, dark red velvet bustier with beadwork and little black velvet jacket. Of course, I wore my tiara, with dangly rhinestone earrings & a matching necklace. My new little purse, with a sparkling rhinestone clip, and my princess shoes (black satin mules with rhinestone straps) finished off the outfit. I drove over to Dayton, chatting with my cousin Nola about scheduling a visit, giving my car to the valet and walking into the hotel with a small amount of social anxiety. Grace and her fiancé invited me to sit with them. She looked lovely, in a black and white gown and filmy wrap. The ball was interesting, with some nondescript hors d'oeuvres, a worship service in the middle and a lot of people in much dressier clothes than I usually get to see them wearing. When Shane and the other Grace walked in, I thought, "Wow, they look like they should be at the Oscars." Grace was all glammy in a stunning red satin gown she had made. It looked like the stuff of designers' dreams. I was happiest of all to see Laura & Brendan. Laura cracked me up when they were leaving, saying the ball was "kind of like the Taliban hosting a wine tasting." I talked Grace into taking my package, a pink boa in a Tinkerbell gift bag. I'd looked for a tiara, but hadn't found a suitable one. Grace was trying to talk Jared's fiancée into taking it & I finally told her just to take it. She loved it & posed for pictures. The gift I chose turned out to be homemade cherry jam. I was thrilled with it.
I was so thrilled, in fact, that I was showing it off at the after-party upstairs in the hotel's rooftop lounge. Martin asked what kind & I told him. He grinned & said, "I know who picked those cherries" and pointed to himself. His wife had pitted them & made the jam. Yum. We had a nice time visiting & listening to the band. I had a bowl of French onion soup and a couple of Starliner martinis, made with espresso, Stoli Vanilla, Bailey's and Frangelico. Finlly, just before midnight, the party began to break up. I drove out of the parking lot, feeling like Cinderella leaving the ball, at 11:59. Funny what constitutes a late night these days. That is, when I'm not staying up until 3 or 4 to finish a project I've procrastinated on doing.
Saturday morning, I packed my bags, loaded the car & headed for Medina. My women's art group was getting together for a Christmas lunch at Miss Molly's Tea Room (www.missmollys.net) and then having dessert at Lee's house. We had a wonderful time, with delicious lady food. I chose the tea sandwich sampler, with small heart-shaped tuna salad, chicken salad and pimiento cheese sandwiches. I had strawberry pretzel salad on the side and Christmas tea to drink. Everyone (but me-I have to finish mine & mail them out) had brought little gifts for one another. They were so festive, passed around the table in their charming wrapping. There was everything from scrumptious treats to art supplies to hand-crafted ornaments. Mine will probably pale in comparison. I felt bad, too, that I hadn't completed them in time to bring them, but everyone was very gracious. I hope they like them. Our visit to Lee's house was great fun, with a tour of her elegantly decorated house and her swoon-worthy art space. My favorite part, though, was her 5 cats.
I arrived home around 5:30 and had a little nap with J before it was time to head out to her company Christmas party. Pie came home for the weekend, skipping his wrestling tournament to do so. Boot chose to stay in PA for the tournament. J had given them the choice regarding what to do, but invited Boot out to dinner, at least, if he chose to stay. When she arrived at the house to pick them up, their father told Pie to tell J that Boot didn't want to see her. Pie actually told her the truth, which was that Boot was at the high school running with the varsity team. He ran in to get Boot and the three of them had a nice dinner together. What an evil man their father is. Just nasty! I expect Pie will catch bloody hell for choosing to spend the weekend with us and for telling the truth about his brother's whereabouts. I am really proud of him for acting with integrity.
I am also proud of how well-behaved he was at the party, how good-natured he was with everyone & how he went ahead & bowled even though he isn't very good at it. I am not such a fan of bowling alleys, but it was great to be with J and Pie. We went home fairly early. I was glad Pie wanted to go because I was ready, too. I'd taken a book, but it felt kinda wrong to whip it open & start reading. I felt rather like Graham. We saw some beautiful Christmas lights on the way home.
In the morning, J and I went to church, where the kids did a mixed media pageant that combined the stories of Jesus' birth, the little drummer boy and interviews of families in the congregation about their Christmas traditions. It was really sweet and it was fun to hear about the other people's traditions. What a cool idea to interview everyone. After church, we went home and summoned Pie from his lair. He was having a blast playing video games & was not very interested in being taken out for a special birthday lunch. We offered Dave & Buster's, we offered Red Lobster. He chose gas station food, much to J's chagrin. But, hey, he was the birthday boy & he got to choose. We ate at a BP & then took Pie to the video game store to spend his birthday money. J also showed me the games she would like if I get her a DS for Christmas.
Pie spent the afternoon blissed out on his new games while we watched a special about the best Christmas towns in the U.S. We made time before we had to return Pie for cake and singing. He was so sweet as he blew out his candles. I hope he made a good wish. He ate a bunch of cake, saying he wanted to have as much of it as he could while he was with us because his dad wouldn't let him have it at home. He said if we sent it home with him, his dad would just tell him wrestlers don't eat food like that & would take it away & eat it his own self. What a nasty man.
He drowsed all the way home as J and I made plans for my graduation party menu. He gave us sweet hugs & headed inside. We stopped at Bob Evans for dinner on the way home and went to bed fairly promptly once home. Last weekend of my commuting career! I am so glad I get to be with J all week soon, instead of just on weekends.
There was just enough time for me to have a tub and primp for the ball. I dressed in a black taffeta ball skirt, dark red velvet bustier with beadwork and little black velvet jacket. Of course, I wore my tiara, with dangly rhinestone earrings & a matching necklace. My new little purse, with a sparkling rhinestone clip, and my princess shoes (black satin mules with rhinestone straps) finished off the outfit. I drove over to Dayton, chatting with my cousin Nola about scheduling a visit, giving my car to the valet and walking into the hotel with a small amount of social anxiety. Grace and her fiancé invited me to sit with them. She looked lovely, in a black and white gown and filmy wrap. The ball was interesting, with some nondescript hors d'oeuvres, a worship service in the middle and a lot of people in much dressier clothes than I usually get to see them wearing. When Shane and the other Grace walked in, I thought, "Wow, they look like they should be at the Oscars." Grace was all glammy in a stunning red satin gown she had made. It looked like the stuff of designers' dreams. I was happiest of all to see Laura & Brendan. Laura cracked me up when they were leaving, saying the ball was "kind of like the Taliban hosting a wine tasting." I talked Grace into taking my package, a pink boa in a Tinkerbell gift bag. I'd looked for a tiara, but hadn't found a suitable one. Grace was trying to talk Jared's fiancée into taking it & I finally told her just to take it. She loved it & posed for pictures. The gift I chose turned out to be homemade cherry jam. I was thrilled with it.
I was so thrilled, in fact, that I was showing it off at the after-party upstairs in the hotel's rooftop lounge. Martin asked what kind & I told him. He grinned & said, "I know who picked those cherries" and pointed to himself. His wife had pitted them & made the jam. Yum. We had a nice time visiting & listening to the band. I had a bowl of French onion soup and a couple of Starliner martinis, made with espresso, Stoli Vanilla, Bailey's and Frangelico. Finlly, just before midnight, the party began to break up. I drove out of the parking lot, feeling like Cinderella leaving the ball, at 11:59. Funny what constitutes a late night these days. That is, when I'm not staying up until 3 or 4 to finish a project I've procrastinated on doing.
Saturday morning, I packed my bags, loaded the car & headed for Medina. My women's art group was getting together for a Christmas lunch at Miss Molly's Tea Room (www.missmollys.net) and then having dessert at Lee's house. We had a wonderful time, with delicious lady food. I chose the tea sandwich sampler, with small heart-shaped tuna salad, chicken salad and pimiento cheese sandwiches. I had strawberry pretzel salad on the side and Christmas tea to drink. Everyone (but me-I have to finish mine & mail them out) had brought little gifts for one another. They were so festive, passed around the table in their charming wrapping. There was everything from scrumptious treats to art supplies to hand-crafted ornaments. Mine will probably pale in comparison. I felt bad, too, that I hadn't completed them in time to bring them, but everyone was very gracious. I hope they like them. Our visit to Lee's house was great fun, with a tour of her elegantly decorated house and her swoon-worthy art space. My favorite part, though, was her 5 cats.
I arrived home around 5:30 and had a little nap with J before it was time to head out to her company Christmas party. Pie came home for the weekend, skipping his wrestling tournament to do so. Boot chose to stay in PA for the tournament. J had given them the choice regarding what to do, but invited Boot out to dinner, at least, if he chose to stay. When she arrived at the house to pick them up, their father told Pie to tell J that Boot didn't want to see her. Pie actually told her the truth, which was that Boot was at the high school running with the varsity team. He ran in to get Boot and the three of them had a nice dinner together. What an evil man their father is. Just nasty! I expect Pie will catch bloody hell for choosing to spend the weekend with us and for telling the truth about his brother's whereabouts. I am really proud of him for acting with integrity.
I am also proud of how well-behaved he was at the party, how good-natured he was with everyone & how he went ahead & bowled even though he isn't very good at it. I am not such a fan of bowling alleys, but it was great to be with J and Pie. We went home fairly early. I was glad Pie wanted to go because I was ready, too. I'd taken a book, but it felt kinda wrong to whip it open & start reading. I felt rather like Graham. We saw some beautiful Christmas lights on the way home.
In the morning, J and I went to church, where the kids did a mixed media pageant that combined the stories of Jesus' birth, the little drummer boy and interviews of families in the congregation about their Christmas traditions. It was really sweet and it was fun to hear about the other people's traditions. What a cool idea to interview everyone. After church, we went home and summoned Pie from his lair. He was having a blast playing video games & was not very interested in being taken out for a special birthday lunch. We offered Dave & Buster's, we offered Red Lobster. He chose gas station food, much to J's chagrin. But, hey, he was the birthday boy & he got to choose. We ate at a BP & then took Pie to the video game store to spend his birthday money. J also showed me the games she would like if I get her a DS for Christmas.
Pie spent the afternoon blissed out on his new games while we watched a special about the best Christmas towns in the U.S. We made time before we had to return Pie for cake and singing. He was so sweet as he blew out his candles. I hope he made a good wish. He ate a bunch of cake, saying he wanted to have as much of it as he could while he was with us because his dad wouldn't let him have it at home. He said if we sent it home with him, his dad would just tell him wrestlers don't eat food like that & would take it away & eat it his own self. What a nasty man.
He drowsed all the way home as J and I made plans for my graduation party menu. He gave us sweet hugs & headed inside. We stopped at Bob Evans for dinner on the way home and went to bed fairly promptly once home. Last weekend of my commuting career! I am so glad I get to be with J all week soon, instead of just on weekends.
Monday, December 01, 2008
Thanksgiving & After-Party at Hickory Hill
We celebrated Thursday with the boys. J went to pick them up while I stayed home & cooked & decorated the table. We got fall leaf confetti & turkey paper plates & napkins. I put cream-colored candles in the crystal candle holders my almost-grandma gave me. I put out the (now-unusable but still cool) turkey salt & peppers that belonged to my great-grandmother & were on the table every Thanksgiving when I was growing up. My grandmom gave them to me two years ago, along with the cut-glass compote she always put the raspberry Jell-o in. I also put out leaf/acorn salt & peppers we bought this year that actually work. By the time J & the boys got home at 11, the house looked very festive indeed. The boys were on good behavior, which was nice. Boot hung out with us in the kitchen for a while, then watched football while we finished cooking. Pie was friendly, but went pretty much immediately to his room to play X Box. He doesn't get to play live at his dad's, so he was anxious to re-connect with his game buddies online. He did come up every once in awhile to say hello & drink some olive juice. He has loved that since he was little and it's a special treat we don't often let him have. Funny treat, eh? The sodium worries us, though, so he doesn't usually get it & it becomes a treat.
We sat down to the table at 2, so we all had time to relax before we had to take the boys home at 7. Boot opted for a nap, as did J. Pie played video games & I watched the Macy's parade, which I had recorded in the morning. Our feast consisted of a turkey cooked Nigella Lawson's way (we debated the best way to cook it & I won), mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, candied sweet potatoes, rolls w/pumpkin butter, cranberry sauce, raspberry Jell-o with raspberries in it, pumpkin pie, derby pie and peanut butter pie.
After we took the boys home, we drove back to our place and flopped on the couch with leftovers for dinner. J didn't have to work in the morning, so we got to bed kind of late and then lazed in bed in the morning. Then, we got up & ran some errands before coming home to work on an invite list for my graduation party. I then packed my bags (seems like I spend an inordinate amount of time packing & unpacking bags these days!) and loaded the car. I headed for my mom's in West Virginia and J headed east to pick up the boys for the weekend. Yes, we had them Thanksgiving from 9-9 and then for the weekend, yet their father wouldn't allow us just to keep them for the time between 9 Thursday and 6 Friday. An extra 6 hours of travel time due to his desire to spite J. What a petty little man. it's not like he actually enjoys their company.
I arrived at my mom's around 7:30, after stopping in Sissonville for blue cheese and finding that the bakery had the most adorable chocolate-dipped pretzel rods & candy canes. I hadn't thought of dipping candy canes, but I plan to now. I had to pick some up, along with a packet of cheese straws. I love good cheese straws! My mom had just arrived on the ATV when I drove up, so we unloaded my bags onto the ATV and headed down the road. The big hill is not nearly so scary when the road is dry! The mud really makes it slick, so I was happy not to have rain. It's also lots more pleasant not to get wet! When we got close, I could see the cozy kerosene glow coming from their house. I love that. I could also smell the woodsmoke from the stoves in the house & the shack.
We sat around & visited Friday night, having Boca burgers for dinner & listening to "This American Life." I'd taken a bag of magazines and an Advent calendar for my mom & it was fun to watch her go through that. I was unhappy with myself, though, for leaving the recipes I'd meant for her at home. Oh, well, I can send a package. Maybe I'll include some fudge or something. I'm hoping to have time to make fudge this week for my classes. My friend Mandi offered to share Paula Deen's recipe for fudge made with Velveeta. I am scared of that! Graham was very happy with the peanut brittle I made for him, so I bet some fudge would be appreciated, too. Just not with processed cheese food in it! I do want to try it, out of curiosity, but not when I am feeding it to other people.
My mom came over & slept in the shack loft with me. She'd gotten the fire going nicely, so we were toasty warm for the night. Of course, we weren't so toasty when we awoke in the morning to discover that the fire had gone out, but with the nice thick blanket she's got, we were fine. We went over to the house for breakfast, egg and cheese muffins my mom put together. I also got to go through a bunch of old photos and pick ones for my collection. She had a big stack of children's books to show me (Patricia Polacco, Cynthia Rylant, one by Toni Morrison about the end of segregation) and Graham had some photography books for me to see, too. They also checked out a Martha Stewart book about Halloween from the library for me to see. My mom has discovered that she really likes Martha Stewart's ideas & recipes. Yay. We both really want to make these little crepe paper pumpkins that you put treats inside. They are like the magical crepe paper balls that my mom made us for Christmas a couple years ago, spilling out little trinkets and candies as you unwrap.
We went out & raked leaves, too, gathering piles on a blue tarp and hauling them to the big leaf pile. Graham was up on the rooftops doing the gutters while we did that. He got some cool pictures of the buildings from the roof of the house. Bobo was busy relaxing in the center of our ring of leaves. He is so cute! They continued to work on gutters and my mom was holding a ladder for Graham. I noticed Bobo sitting in grey and white splendor right on the top rung of the ladder as Graham cleared leaves. When I went inside for my camera, he ran down the ladder and moved on to his next activity. Pity. It would've made a great picture. While they finished up the gutters, I went in & finished my book pile. I'm glad my mom loves children's books as much as I do.
We headed down to Lenore's around 5 for dinner & a movie. I was sorry I'd forgotten to bring "The Lost City" but Graham had gotten "To Have and To Have Not" from Netflix and it was fun to see that. I'd never seen it before. My mom & Graham had just read the story & were blown away by how much Faulkner altered the story for the screenplay. I was impressed that the film had Hemingway as author of the original book and Faulkner doing the screenplay. I didn't even know Faulkner did screenplays.
Before the movie, my mom and I made dinner. I did a pumpkin potato pie from Rachael Ray's magazine (and boy, was it good) and a chocolate pecan pie (I forgot the Jack Daniels for derby pie at home, so I considered subbing rum but forgot to stir it in before dumping the filling into the crust-twas good anyway). My mom did a salad with iceberg lettuce (Lenore can't have spinach or more exotic lettuces because she's on Coumadin), chopped pears, blue cheese and walnut pieces. After the movie, my mom and I got out our flashlights & got back into our boots and hiking mindsets. It's hard to imagine doing that hike every Saturday night at midnight or later just to get home after going to dinner and watching a movie! I managed okay both directions, but I was glad to climb up in the loft & read when we got back! When I awoke to the sound of rain Sunday, I uttered a little prayer of thanks that the rain held off until our hike was past. Walking that sloppy road in the rain, with the orange clay mud adhering to your boots and making them slick and heavy, is no fun. It's those nights that I am especially grateful when Graham has gone ahead and lit the lanterns, because they are the most welcome sight in the world when you're wet and road-shocked!
We visited over a bagel breakfast, then got to work (play!) on making popcorn & cranberry garlands while Graham worked on organizing all their information on gas wells. The gas company wants to drill a well very close to their house and because my mom & Graham don't have mineral rights, they don't have a say. However, they want to know as much as possible about it so they can hold the gas company to the standards they are supposed to follow. It makes me sick to think of all those beautiful woods being desecrated for the sake of another gas well. There is one along the road to Hickory Hill and it seems odd that they have to have another so close by. I am praying that they somehow decide not to drill after all. Odds are way against that, but miracles do occur. Graham showed me pictures they took on a "field trip" to a gas well being drilled and it looks awful. My mom compared it to something the White Witch did to Narnia and Graham mentioned Sauron.
Viva joined us on the couch as we strung the garlands. Luckily, she was more interested in pets and sleep than in playing with the string. Had it been Bobo, we would not have had it so easy! When we'd finished, we went over to the garden and hung the tied-together garlands on a cedar tree for the birds to munch. It looked so festive & pretty! Then, we took a lunch of popcorn with nutritional yeast, cheese and cranberry sauce over to the shack while Graham napped. We sat by the woodstove, ate and talked. Too soon, it was time for me to pack up & leave. Graham got my things wrapped in plastic & loaded on the ATV for the ride out. They are so organized. I wouldn't begin to know how to live out there. The ride up the big hill was plenty nerve-wracking with the slippery mud, but we made it just fine (and with not too much mud on our pants). I was glad, though, to have a hood on that covered my eyes! We bid one another farewell. It was easier to leave knowing that we'll see each other again in just a couple of weeks. She's coming for my last week of school & my graduation. Yippee!
On my way back through Sissonville, I had to stop at Tudor's Biscuit World. They are usually not open when I am going through, so I took advantage of the hour and got a sausage biscuit for the road. My drive home was fine, just dull and rainy. I don't like going home to Cleveland from there. The route home to Dayton was always so much more interesting, lots more to see. Oh, well. 77 is not such a bad interstate at least.
I was happy to get home to my darling wife. It seems to be a smart idea to try & steer fairly clear of the kids for now, while Boot is being largely oppositional and grumpy, but I sure do miss J. We spent the evening working on my graduation party invites (which I need to mail today!) and getting her packed for the national sales conference in Chicago. I was happy to climb into my own red flannel sheets, under my own pretty comforter, next to my own wonderful wife! I used to go visit my mom and mourn having to go home. Now, I miss my mom, but I have great things to come home to.
We sat down to the table at 2, so we all had time to relax before we had to take the boys home at 7. Boot opted for a nap, as did J. Pie played video games & I watched the Macy's parade, which I had recorded in the morning. Our feast consisted of a turkey cooked Nigella Lawson's way (we debated the best way to cook it & I won), mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, candied sweet potatoes, rolls w/pumpkin butter, cranberry sauce, raspberry Jell-o with raspberries in it, pumpkin pie, derby pie and peanut butter pie.
After we took the boys home, we drove back to our place and flopped on the couch with leftovers for dinner. J didn't have to work in the morning, so we got to bed kind of late and then lazed in bed in the morning. Then, we got up & ran some errands before coming home to work on an invite list for my graduation party. I then packed my bags (seems like I spend an inordinate amount of time packing & unpacking bags these days!) and loaded the car. I headed for my mom's in West Virginia and J headed east to pick up the boys for the weekend. Yes, we had them Thanksgiving from 9-9 and then for the weekend, yet their father wouldn't allow us just to keep them for the time between 9 Thursday and 6 Friday. An extra 6 hours of travel time due to his desire to spite J. What a petty little man. it's not like he actually enjoys their company.
I arrived at my mom's around 7:30, after stopping in Sissonville for blue cheese and finding that the bakery had the most adorable chocolate-dipped pretzel rods & candy canes. I hadn't thought of dipping candy canes, but I plan to now. I had to pick some up, along with a packet of cheese straws. I love good cheese straws! My mom had just arrived on the ATV when I drove up, so we unloaded my bags onto the ATV and headed down the road. The big hill is not nearly so scary when the road is dry! The mud really makes it slick, so I was happy not to have rain. It's also lots more pleasant not to get wet! When we got close, I could see the cozy kerosene glow coming from their house. I love that. I could also smell the woodsmoke from the stoves in the house & the shack.
We sat around & visited Friday night, having Boca burgers for dinner & listening to "This American Life." I'd taken a bag of magazines and an Advent calendar for my mom & it was fun to watch her go through that. I was unhappy with myself, though, for leaving the recipes I'd meant for her at home. Oh, well, I can send a package. Maybe I'll include some fudge or something. I'm hoping to have time to make fudge this week for my classes. My friend Mandi offered to share Paula Deen's recipe for fudge made with Velveeta. I am scared of that! Graham was very happy with the peanut brittle I made for him, so I bet some fudge would be appreciated, too. Just not with processed cheese food in it! I do want to try it, out of curiosity, but not when I am feeding it to other people.
My mom came over & slept in the shack loft with me. She'd gotten the fire going nicely, so we were toasty warm for the night. Of course, we weren't so toasty when we awoke in the morning to discover that the fire had gone out, but with the nice thick blanket she's got, we were fine. We went over to the house for breakfast, egg and cheese muffins my mom put together. I also got to go through a bunch of old photos and pick ones for my collection. She had a big stack of children's books to show me (Patricia Polacco, Cynthia Rylant, one by Toni Morrison about the end of segregation) and Graham had some photography books for me to see, too. They also checked out a Martha Stewart book about Halloween from the library for me to see. My mom has discovered that she really likes Martha Stewart's ideas & recipes. Yay. We both really want to make these little crepe paper pumpkins that you put treats inside. They are like the magical crepe paper balls that my mom made us for Christmas a couple years ago, spilling out little trinkets and candies as you unwrap.
We went out & raked leaves, too, gathering piles on a blue tarp and hauling them to the big leaf pile. Graham was up on the rooftops doing the gutters while we did that. He got some cool pictures of the buildings from the roof of the house. Bobo was busy relaxing in the center of our ring of leaves. He is so cute! They continued to work on gutters and my mom was holding a ladder for Graham. I noticed Bobo sitting in grey and white splendor right on the top rung of the ladder as Graham cleared leaves. When I went inside for my camera, he ran down the ladder and moved on to his next activity. Pity. It would've made a great picture. While they finished up the gutters, I went in & finished my book pile. I'm glad my mom loves children's books as much as I do.
We headed down to Lenore's around 5 for dinner & a movie. I was sorry I'd forgotten to bring "The Lost City" but Graham had gotten "To Have and To Have Not" from Netflix and it was fun to see that. I'd never seen it before. My mom & Graham had just read the story & were blown away by how much Faulkner altered the story for the screenplay. I was impressed that the film had Hemingway as author of the original book and Faulkner doing the screenplay. I didn't even know Faulkner did screenplays.
Before the movie, my mom and I made dinner. I did a pumpkin potato pie from Rachael Ray's magazine (and boy, was it good) and a chocolate pecan pie (I forgot the Jack Daniels for derby pie at home, so I considered subbing rum but forgot to stir it in before dumping the filling into the crust-twas good anyway). My mom did a salad with iceberg lettuce (Lenore can't have spinach or more exotic lettuces because she's on Coumadin), chopped pears, blue cheese and walnut pieces. After the movie, my mom and I got out our flashlights & got back into our boots and hiking mindsets. It's hard to imagine doing that hike every Saturday night at midnight or later just to get home after going to dinner and watching a movie! I managed okay both directions, but I was glad to climb up in the loft & read when we got back! When I awoke to the sound of rain Sunday, I uttered a little prayer of thanks that the rain held off until our hike was past. Walking that sloppy road in the rain, with the orange clay mud adhering to your boots and making them slick and heavy, is no fun. It's those nights that I am especially grateful when Graham has gone ahead and lit the lanterns, because they are the most welcome sight in the world when you're wet and road-shocked!
We visited over a bagel breakfast, then got to work (play!) on making popcorn & cranberry garlands while Graham worked on organizing all their information on gas wells. The gas company wants to drill a well very close to their house and because my mom & Graham don't have mineral rights, they don't have a say. However, they want to know as much as possible about it so they can hold the gas company to the standards they are supposed to follow. It makes me sick to think of all those beautiful woods being desecrated for the sake of another gas well. There is one along the road to Hickory Hill and it seems odd that they have to have another so close by. I am praying that they somehow decide not to drill after all. Odds are way against that, but miracles do occur. Graham showed me pictures they took on a "field trip" to a gas well being drilled and it looks awful. My mom compared it to something the White Witch did to Narnia and Graham mentioned Sauron.
Viva joined us on the couch as we strung the garlands. Luckily, she was more interested in pets and sleep than in playing with the string. Had it been Bobo, we would not have had it so easy! When we'd finished, we went over to the garden and hung the tied-together garlands on a cedar tree for the birds to munch. It looked so festive & pretty! Then, we took a lunch of popcorn with nutritional yeast, cheese and cranberry sauce over to the shack while Graham napped. We sat by the woodstove, ate and talked. Too soon, it was time for me to pack up & leave. Graham got my things wrapped in plastic & loaded on the ATV for the ride out. They are so organized. I wouldn't begin to know how to live out there. The ride up the big hill was plenty nerve-wracking with the slippery mud, but we made it just fine (and with not too much mud on our pants). I was glad, though, to have a hood on that covered my eyes! We bid one another farewell. It was easier to leave knowing that we'll see each other again in just a couple of weeks. She's coming for my last week of school & my graduation. Yippee!
On my way back through Sissonville, I had to stop at Tudor's Biscuit World. They are usually not open when I am going through, so I took advantage of the hour and got a sausage biscuit for the road. My drive home was fine, just dull and rainy. I don't like going home to Cleveland from there. The route home to Dayton was always so much more interesting, lots more to see. Oh, well. 77 is not such a bad interstate at least.
I was happy to get home to my darling wife. It seems to be a smart idea to try & steer fairly clear of the kids for now, while Boot is being largely oppositional and grumpy, but I sure do miss J. We spent the evening working on my graduation party invites (which I need to mail today!) and getting her packed for the national sales conference in Chicago. I was happy to climb into my own red flannel sheets, under my own pretty comforter, next to my own wonderful wife! I used to go visit my mom and mourn having to go home. Now, I miss my mom, but I have great things to come home to.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Holidays 10/8-10/15
8-Drive in the Country Day, a perfect opportunity for some local leaf-peeping and maybe the perfect day to find a farm stand with pumpkins & Indian corn!
9-Hero Day, a time to dash off a quick note to one of your heroes to let them know what a difference they make in your life
10-Gay Pride Day, just before National Coming Out Day, a good day to read some gay history-Martin Duberman's Stonewall is a decent starting place.
11-Puddle-Splashing Day, so get out your wellies and go stomping, then come home to some nice, hot mulled cider and a cozy pair of slippers!
12-Childhood Candy Day, and for folks in the Cleveland area, that means a trip to B.A. Sweetie's for a cruise down memory lane and in Dayton, Foy's in Fairborn will serve as an effective time travel vehicle. What's the best place for your favorite childhood candies in your neck of the woods?
13-Writing Day-whether it's a novel or a letter, spend some time at the page today.
14-Flaming Foliage Day, a fun time to go out and gather brightly hued leaves to scatter on your dining table
15-Pumpkins & Gourds Day, upon which it is a delight to create an arrangement of your favorite squashes & maybe some mums on a bale of hay in the yard or as a centerpiece for a fall dinner party!
9-Hero Day, a time to dash off a quick note to one of your heroes to let them know what a difference they make in your life
10-Gay Pride Day, just before National Coming Out Day, a good day to read some gay history-Martin Duberman's Stonewall is a decent starting place.
11-Puddle-Splashing Day, so get out your wellies and go stomping, then come home to some nice, hot mulled cider and a cozy pair of slippers!
12-Childhood Candy Day, and for folks in the Cleveland area, that means a trip to B.A. Sweetie's for a cruise down memory lane and in Dayton, Foy's in Fairborn will serve as an effective time travel vehicle. What's the best place for your favorite childhood candies in your neck of the woods?
13-Writing Day-whether it's a novel or a letter, spend some time at the page today.
14-Flaming Foliage Day, a fun time to go out and gather brightly hued leaves to scatter on your dining table
15-Pumpkins & Gourds Day, upon which it is a delight to create an arrangement of your favorite squashes & maybe some mums on a bale of hay in the yard or as a centerpiece for a fall dinner party!
Monday, October 06, 2008
A Visit to Halloweentown & My Boys' Life in Hell
It was an interesting weekend. We picked the boys up Friday night (and got to see the 2009 Jeep Patriot that was bought for Boot, who turns 16 in December-at least we know some of the child support is actually going toward things for them, but it sucks that their father gets all the credit for it while it is probably J's money that is paying for it) & drove down to my aunt's in Dayton, which is about a 6-hour drive. They bickered much of the way there, as they seem to do much of the time we have them now. Boot is frequently furious with Pie and Pie doesn't seem too thrilled with Boot, either. I think kids that close in age often bicker anyway, but there is underlying stuff that we've been picking up on for awhile.
We arrived at my aunt's late but stayed up & visited some anyway. The boys really like her and are thrilled to get to use her t.v. and computer during visits. In the morning, we hung out around the house. Then, we made a trip to a nearby town where the downtown becomes Halloween central in October. My aunt had never been and the boys loved to go every year when we lived in the area. There is an old 5 & 10 that also has a ton of Halloween stuff, a haunted house, a haunted house supply store, a kids' costume store, an adult costume store and an old school greasy spoon with pool tables, a long counter with spinny stools and awesome malts. Outside, there are all kinds of wild Halloween decorations, all along Main Street. It's a trip. www.foyshalloweenstore.com is their website. Each boy got $25 to spend as he pleased that day. Pie chose a mask and some black lightbulbs while Boot got a couple black lightbulbs, some incense and a couple of old horror movies. We had lunch at the grill, too. Then, we dropped the boys off at my aunt's for a rest while the grown folks went to a potato festival that the boys thought would be boring. When we returned, my aunt took us to dinner at a local Mexican place.
Sunday, we had to get up early and drive down to Cincinnati to visit J's folks. The boys are both so good with them. J's mom was actually responsive, much more so than usual. She even spoke a few sentences and just seemed much more "there" than usual. J's dad was beyond thrilled to see the boys and they did a good job of keeping him entertained. The drive home was pretty stressful. For one thing, we knew that if we got the kids home late, we'd get hassled about it by their father, who is completely inflexible. We got into a huge traffic jam before we even got to Columbus and that was worrisome. But the worst part of it was when the boys started fighting. I think I mentioned that Pie cried all the way home the last time we picked them up. He has been telling us how very much he misses us & how much he wants to live with us again. Boot says he doesn't know where he wants to live. Anyway, in the middle of the traffic jam, Pie just broke wide open and started sobbing and yelling at his brother with such fury that it was startling. He said that he had "fucked Mom over. I take responsibility for that, but YOU did it, too!!!" They started yelling ferociously, Boot saying, "Yeah, I screwed Mom over, but at least I did the right thing in court. You lied to the judge."
Back and forth it went, with Pie trying to make Boot admit his part in the lies. He yelled at Boot, "YOU are the one who put alcohol bottles all over the place and took pictures when you KNOW Mom and Daria don't drink like that!!! YOU are the one!!! YOU are the one who said we got taken to a gay pride parade!!! All my life, I have just tried to do what YOU wanted!!! I just went along with you and dad's LIES to make YOU happy!!! When YOU wanted to live with Dad because you hated Daria, I didn't! I don't hate Daria! Yeah, I lied and it's partly my fault we have to live with that jackass but YOU are to blame, too!!! I'm scared of Dad and YOU are partly to blame that we have to live with that jackass. You fucked Mom over, too." Boot kept brushing off Pie's accusations by saying that he may have screwed Mom over before court but at least he did the right thing in court.
Pie kept it up, talking about how he can't even talk to his mom on the phone without someone listening in to make sure he only says what he is supposed to say-and never that he loves her, about how he is in hell. He was crying and crying as he talked about how he is taking responsibility for his actions and his brother needs to, as well. He kept saying, "Who's the strong one now, Brother, who's the strong one now? You act all tough, but you can't even be honest about the part YOU played in this. Who's the strong one now?" Boot gave him a really hard elbow right in the face and he kept it up anyway, telling him that he can hurt him but he can't keep him from telling the truth. Boot said, "It's not Daria I have the problem with now, it's Pie." (he has never been able to take responsibility for his own culpability in any situation, it's always someone else's fault if things are messed up) It was just awful. We kept telling them that neither of them should carry that guilt, that we know they were manipulated, that this all started before they were even born, that we know their dad has been angling for revenge all this time, that we know how much pressure they've been under their whole lives to show a preference for their father, that they made some bad choices because they were lied to & didn't have all the information and that they needed just to learn from the experience & move on, that we will see if there's anything we can do to help Pie get back to us. We feel like our hands are tied. Pie kept telling Boot, "Yeah, I'm the bad guy here, but YOU are the bad guy, too. You try to make yourself look so perfect, but YOU are the bad guy, too." J said, "Guys, neither of you is the bad guy. The only bad guy is your father."
Both of them are a mess. Pie can't even talk to his court-mandated counselor (who we don't know if he is even seeing anymore & whose name we never got) because (as Pie tells it) their father & grandmother picked a guy his dad knows, who was willing to write an opinion that there is now nothing at all psychologically wrong with Pie and that the whole problem must have been having to live with us in the first place, so Pie doesn't trust him & doesn't think it's safe to tell him anything negative about his father because his father will find out. Pie told Boot he trusted him to get them out of their dad's house & then when they did tell him they wanted to come back to live with us and their dad swung a baseball bat at Boot & hit Pie (with his hand, we think), Boot CRIED. Pie was just furious with Boot for crying. It sounded like Pie had assumed his brother could stand up to their father & be strong enough to talk him into letting them come back. "You CRIED, Brother, you CRIED! Try telling Dad we don't want to live with him sometime when he isn't DRUNK!!!"
The whole thing was terrible, an awful reflection of a truly tragic situation. That guy has throughly screwed his kids up and utterly screwed J over and he's going to get away with it, as far as I can tell. It seems like the kids should be able to contact the judge, tell him that they lied and set J and me up and then the ruling should be overturned. We can't afford to open a new case right now and I don't know if we're even allowed to this soon after the ruling, but I hate knowing Pie has to live there another 2 years before he can go to a Pennsylvania judge on his own. Boot could go in December, but I doubt he will. And we don't have proof of anything. We only have what the boys have told us and we weren't allowed to say anything at all that the boys told us in court, even though their father's case was based almost entirely on what the boys said, interspersed with a few lies of his own that we refuted with solid evidence like receipts proving J took the boys to Great Wolf Lodge the weekend we supposedly took them to a gay pride event. I can't believe the torture we are all going through because of an evil man out for revenge being willing to manipulate his children and lie in court (and have his 80-something year old mother lie in court, too!) and because of a biased judge who couldn't see past J's sexual orientation.
Pie fell asleep crying & soon Boot drifted off, too. We ended up having time to stop at Burger King to feed them before they went home. We got hugs from both of them with no seat in the way (usually they deliver goodbye hugs from the back seat several streets before we reach their driveway so their father won't see them being affectionate towards us. The whole thing is completely nuts. I feel terrible for J, but even worse for the boys because they have to live with him and to live with their own lies and betrayal. And I'm not too happy to be stuck in the middle of it all, either. I wish we could get at least Pie back, and Boot if he wants to come, and get them both in to see a good counselor to help them heal from all this.
We arrived at my aunt's late but stayed up & visited some anyway. The boys really like her and are thrilled to get to use her t.v. and computer during visits. In the morning, we hung out around the house. Then, we made a trip to a nearby town where the downtown becomes Halloween central in October. My aunt had never been and the boys loved to go every year when we lived in the area. There is an old 5 & 10 that also has a ton of Halloween stuff, a haunted house, a haunted house supply store, a kids' costume store, an adult costume store and an old school greasy spoon with pool tables, a long counter with spinny stools and awesome malts. Outside, there are all kinds of wild Halloween decorations, all along Main Street. It's a trip. www.foyshalloweenstore.com is their website. Each boy got $25 to spend as he pleased that day. Pie chose a mask and some black lightbulbs while Boot got a couple black lightbulbs, some incense and a couple of old horror movies. We had lunch at the grill, too. Then, we dropped the boys off at my aunt's for a rest while the grown folks went to a potato festival that the boys thought would be boring. When we returned, my aunt took us to dinner at a local Mexican place.
Sunday, we had to get up early and drive down to Cincinnati to visit J's folks. The boys are both so good with them. J's mom was actually responsive, much more so than usual. She even spoke a few sentences and just seemed much more "there" than usual. J's dad was beyond thrilled to see the boys and they did a good job of keeping him entertained. The drive home was pretty stressful. For one thing, we knew that if we got the kids home late, we'd get hassled about it by their father, who is completely inflexible. We got into a huge traffic jam before we even got to Columbus and that was worrisome. But the worst part of it was when the boys started fighting. I think I mentioned that Pie cried all the way home the last time we picked them up. He has been telling us how very much he misses us & how much he wants to live with us again. Boot says he doesn't know where he wants to live. Anyway, in the middle of the traffic jam, Pie just broke wide open and started sobbing and yelling at his brother with such fury that it was startling. He said that he had "fucked Mom over. I take responsibility for that, but YOU did it, too!!!" They started yelling ferociously, Boot saying, "Yeah, I screwed Mom over, but at least I did the right thing in court. You lied to the judge."
Back and forth it went, with Pie trying to make Boot admit his part in the lies. He yelled at Boot, "YOU are the one who put alcohol bottles all over the place and took pictures when you KNOW Mom and Daria don't drink like that!!! YOU are the one!!! YOU are the one who said we got taken to a gay pride parade!!! All my life, I have just tried to do what YOU wanted!!! I just went along with you and dad's LIES to make YOU happy!!! When YOU wanted to live with Dad because you hated Daria, I didn't! I don't hate Daria! Yeah, I lied and it's partly my fault we have to live with that jackass but YOU are to blame, too!!! I'm scared of Dad and YOU are partly to blame that we have to live with that jackass. You fucked Mom over, too." Boot kept brushing off Pie's accusations by saying that he may have screwed Mom over before court but at least he did the right thing in court.
Pie kept it up, talking about how he can't even talk to his mom on the phone without someone listening in to make sure he only says what he is supposed to say-and never that he loves her, about how he is in hell. He was crying and crying as he talked about how he is taking responsibility for his actions and his brother needs to, as well. He kept saying, "Who's the strong one now, Brother, who's the strong one now? You act all tough, but you can't even be honest about the part YOU played in this. Who's the strong one now?" Boot gave him a really hard elbow right in the face and he kept it up anyway, telling him that he can hurt him but he can't keep him from telling the truth. Boot said, "It's not Daria I have the problem with now, it's Pie." (he has never been able to take responsibility for his own culpability in any situation, it's always someone else's fault if things are messed up) It was just awful. We kept telling them that neither of them should carry that guilt, that we know they were manipulated, that this all started before they were even born, that we know their dad has been angling for revenge all this time, that we know how much pressure they've been under their whole lives to show a preference for their father, that they made some bad choices because they were lied to & didn't have all the information and that they needed just to learn from the experience & move on, that we will see if there's anything we can do to help Pie get back to us. We feel like our hands are tied. Pie kept telling Boot, "Yeah, I'm the bad guy here, but YOU are the bad guy, too. You try to make yourself look so perfect, but YOU are the bad guy, too." J said, "Guys, neither of you is the bad guy. The only bad guy is your father."
Both of them are a mess. Pie can't even talk to his court-mandated counselor (who we don't know if he is even seeing anymore & whose name we never got) because (as Pie tells it) their father & grandmother picked a guy his dad knows, who was willing to write an opinion that there is now nothing at all psychologically wrong with Pie and that the whole problem must have been having to live with us in the first place, so Pie doesn't trust him & doesn't think it's safe to tell him anything negative about his father because his father will find out. Pie told Boot he trusted him to get them out of their dad's house & then when they did tell him they wanted to come back to live with us and their dad swung a baseball bat at Boot & hit Pie (with his hand, we think), Boot CRIED. Pie was just furious with Boot for crying. It sounded like Pie had assumed his brother could stand up to their father & be strong enough to talk him into letting them come back. "You CRIED, Brother, you CRIED! Try telling Dad we don't want to live with him sometime when he isn't DRUNK!!!"
The whole thing was terrible, an awful reflection of a truly tragic situation. That guy has throughly screwed his kids up and utterly screwed J over and he's going to get away with it, as far as I can tell. It seems like the kids should be able to contact the judge, tell him that they lied and set J and me up and then the ruling should be overturned. We can't afford to open a new case right now and I don't know if we're even allowed to this soon after the ruling, but I hate knowing Pie has to live there another 2 years before he can go to a Pennsylvania judge on his own. Boot could go in December, but I doubt he will. And we don't have proof of anything. We only have what the boys have told us and we weren't allowed to say anything at all that the boys told us in court, even though their father's case was based almost entirely on what the boys said, interspersed with a few lies of his own that we refuted with solid evidence like receipts proving J took the boys to Great Wolf Lodge the weekend we supposedly took them to a gay pride event. I can't believe the torture we are all going through because of an evil man out for revenge being willing to manipulate his children and lie in court (and have his 80-something year old mother lie in court, too!) and because of a biased judge who couldn't see past J's sexual orientation.
Pie fell asleep crying & soon Boot drifted off, too. We ended up having time to stop at Burger King to feed them before they went home. We got hugs from both of them with no seat in the way (usually they deliver goodbye hugs from the back seat several streets before we reach their driveway so their father won't see them being affectionate towards us. The whole thing is completely nuts. I feel terrible for J, but even worse for the boys because they have to live with him and to live with their own lies and betrayal. And I'm not too happy to be stuck in the middle of it all, either. I wish we could get at least Pie back, and Boot if he wants to come, and get them both in to see a good counselor to help them heal from all this.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Holidays 9/30-10/7
I finally found my holiday book. Since packing for our move, I haven't been celebrating my daily holidays and I am thrilled to have my book back!
Sept 30: Jewelry Day, a good opportunity to wear your favorite piece or buy a new one! You could also make a bracelet for a friend or organize your jewelry, as I plan to do.
Oct 1: Sweater Day, time to slip on a comfy old sweater or perhaps knit a new one in a fabulous fall color!
Oct 2: Bonfire Day, so slip down to the shore or into the yard this evening and create a cozy fire! Sit around with friends and reminisce about autumns in years past as you roast weinies and toast marshmallows.
Oct 3: Hooky-Playing Day-if at all possible, call off work and treat yourself to a movie or a day curled up with a book.
Oct 4: Flannel Day, perfect for snuggy sheets or an L.L. Bean shirt.
Oct 5: Coloring Day, because no one is ever too old to color! I like the Dover coloring books, but if you want a Barbie book from the kids' section, have at it! Coloring can be great meditation and once when J's secretary was bummed about a house she wanted to buy not passing inspection, I took her colored pencils and a butterfly coloring book, instructing her to visualize her perfect house as she colored.
Oct 6: Early To Bed Day, so climb in with a mug of tea and get some much-needed rest!
Oct 7: Wood Day, a nice time to create a carving, stain a wooden box or even just spend time in the woods!
Sept 30: Jewelry Day, a good opportunity to wear your favorite piece or buy a new one! You could also make a bracelet for a friend or organize your jewelry, as I plan to do.
Oct 1: Sweater Day, time to slip on a comfy old sweater or perhaps knit a new one in a fabulous fall color!
Oct 2: Bonfire Day, so slip down to the shore or into the yard this evening and create a cozy fire! Sit around with friends and reminisce about autumns in years past as you roast weinies and toast marshmallows.
Oct 3: Hooky-Playing Day-if at all possible, call off work and treat yourself to a movie or a day curled up with a book.
Oct 4: Flannel Day, perfect for snuggy sheets or an L.L. Bean shirt.
Oct 5: Coloring Day, because no one is ever too old to color! I like the Dover coloring books, but if you want a Barbie book from the kids' section, have at it! Coloring can be great meditation and once when J's secretary was bummed about a house she wanted to buy not passing inspection, I took her colored pencils and a butterfly coloring book, instructing her to visualize her perfect house as she colored.
Oct 6: Early To Bed Day, so climb in with a mug of tea and get some much-needed rest!
Oct 7: Wood Day, a nice time to create a carving, stain a wooden box or even just spend time in the woods!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)