Our boys, newly back from summer visitation with their father, got to spend time with both their grandparents & mine over the weekend. Friday, we set out for my grands' home as soon as J got home from work. We stopped for dinner at Bob Evans, then hit the road again. By the time we reached our destination, my grands had gone to bed & so did we.
In the morning, we had breakfast & watched the birds just outside their windows. My grandmom is teaching Pie all the different kinds of birds. We see blue jays, finches, cardinals, woodpeckers and all sorts of others, close-up. Pie's favorites are the hummingbirds. After we'd had a bit of a visit, we headed down to Cincinnati to visit J's folks. Her dad came to the nursing home with "swag bags" stuffed with fruit & candy for the boys. They love that! We ordered LaRosa's pizza & ate it in the room while we watched the original "Dr. Doolittle" and chatted.
On the way home, we stopped, as promised, at the flea market for Boot to drool over Nikes...and get a pair. For some reason, he really wanted them from the flea market. He & J are fascinated by the place. It's an interesting little parking lot fixture, a blend of old white men with card tables full of produce & young African men speaking a French-based patois & selling things like sneakers & clothing. Boot got a pair of Air Jordans that he spends a great deal of time gazing lovingly at and even petting. We also went to a regular store to buy school clothes for both boys. Pie was less than enchanted with this stop. He has no interest whatsoever in clothes, while his brother adores them. He will happily wear his brother's cast-offs, or anything we pick for him, provided it has no prominent logo.
We spent the evening visiting with my grands & had a great summer dinner. My grandmom had been to her favorite produce stand for tomatoes & sweet corn. We had Russian sandwiches (open-faced sandwiches with tomatoes, bacon and sharp cheddar, broiled until the cheese melts) & corn on the cob, my grandparents' long-time summer staples.
We skipped Sunday school in favor of bird-watching, then went to church. I was really unhappy because our pastor was on vacation. Then, we heard the sermon & I was blown away. It was all about how very important love is, how love is the core & center of everything Jesus was trying to teach & do. She talked about how congregations & presbyteries get to arguing about all kinds of things, from stewardship campaigns to what marriage means. She talked about different kinds of love, the romantic kind you share with a life partner (her term...hurrah!), the kind between close friends and the kind within communities like the church. The scripture was the famous, famous Corinthians passage about love that's used at nearly every church wedding. It was nice to hear a fresh take on it & it was really nice to hear love being preached. We stayed for coffee hour, of course, and visited with everyone. Pie was disappointed because his friends weren't there. His disappointment was compounded by the fact that they were supposed to be acolytes & Pie & Boot had to fill in for them!
After church, we stopped by our house. It really is a lovely house. I am so surprised that no one has snatched it up, especially since it's under $200,000. Oh, well, the right buyers will come along & fall in love with it. I want the new owners to have as happy times there as we did. It was a wonderful place for us while we lived there. I miss the deck & the big rooms. I don't miss not having my own tub & only having 2 burners & a small oven.
After checking in there, we started for the Golden Jersey Inn, where we were meeting my grands for lunch. However, we had a little excitement first. I was driving along & suddenly, what I thought was a HUGE grey spider appeared by my rearview mirror, in the open window. I screamed bloody murder & flailed about, scaring J half to death & probably amusing the kids greatly. I am always the calm one. Pie is forever disappointed that I don't startle easily. Well, I was beyond startled. I realized, though, that it was only a moth & calmed down...until I realized it was actually a toad! I managed to get the car pulled over & Pie hopped out to rescue the toad (well, me).
Once we got to the restaurant, we had a wait. Anything affiliated with Young's is guaranteed to be a wait on a summer Sunday, for reasons which escape me. During the wait, I ran into a classmate of mine, a very kindly man who was part of the whole homosexual ordination debate in my Old Testament class last fall. He had stated on the class forum that he was opposed to "them" being ordained, although he "has no problem with them". Afterward, he assumed, like many, that I was terribly wounded & wanted me to go to lunch with him. Pissed off is a better descriptor of how I felt about that whole thing, but I wasn't pissed at him. He just doesn't get it. He means no harm & I think he will learn. It was nice to see him, at any rate, and he got to meet my wife & kids. Lunch was good, even if Boot got revved up & the rest of us could hardly get a word in edgewise.
We packed up our things back at the ranch & headed out, the goodbyes easier knowing that we'll see them this Saturday at my cousin's housewarming & baby welcome party. On the way home, we stopped twice, once to complete football shopping with cleats, cup and mouthpiece, and once for dinner, again at Bob Evans.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Butterflies & Botanicals
The other Friday night, my beloved & I tried a new restaurant. She didn't have anything in mind for dinner, but didn't want to have what I had planned, either. So, I took her to The Saucy Bistro. We were able to have a table on the patio & the air felt so fresh, like we were right by the lake instead of a few miles from it. The service was very friendly & the food was good, too, if a little pricey for me. We shared a combo appetizer of sautéed calamari (fantastic rendition), lamb lollipop and spicy shrimp scampi. I chose filet mignon with wild mushroom reduction & rosemary mashed potatoes for my entrée, while J had seared scallops with a soy-based glaze & a sticky sesame rice cake with wonderfully crisp brown edges. The rice cake was my very favorite thing that we ate that night. For dessert, we split a volcano cake. Good, but not my chocolate nemesis, just as the rest of the meal was good, but not The Winds. As the evening got later, the owner brought tall heaters out to the patio, reminding us of wonderful dinners in Monterey & Carmel (especially the fabulous Forge in the Forest). A woman whose coat we had admired turned out to be the smooth-voiced singer for the evening. After dinner, we stopped by the bookstore, then soaked in the hot tub before heading for bed. The evening was utterly lovely. If the pool had been open, it would have been a perfect swimming night, with the just-past-full moon overhead.
We spent much of the morning in bed, before getting ourselves going to the Westside Market. We had a grand time prowling the stalls there. As we were waiting for our breakfast, a Cornish pasty, we ran into the brother of my very hip friend from high school, Mimi Flaherty. Mimi & I used to go to dinner at the Spaghetti Warehouse Friday nights, then hang out in the Oregon District browsing the thrift & vintage shops, as well as Paprika's, which sold an eclectic bunch of things like art deco rubber stamps & black & white postcards. She was the friend who called to invite me to Denny's late one Thanksgiving, where we wore vintage clothes & pretended to smoke Eve Menthol 120s, just because we thought it was funny. She was the friend who skipped school with me & went to Cincinnati, with my older friend Rachel (who was skipping work), to go shopping at the fancy department stores and have a chi-chi lunch at the Hyatt. Mimi wore an amazingly garish green vintage gown to the prom, which David Letterman did not attend with her, despite her inviting him. Mimi was cool & we lost touch until very recently, when she moved home from San Francisco with her amazingly gorgeous daughter, Mirrin. Mike was always a pretty nice guy, 3 years ahead of us in school. He seems like he's still a nice guy. We are so new here that is absolutely astonishing to hear my name called out in a public place. We talked a bit about our hometown, about Cleveland and about food. Mimi had told him I was doing restaurant reviews, so he wanted my take on good places to eat here. We will have to have him over to dinner sometime. He seemed lonesome, having only moved here in the past few years himself.
After lunch, we went driving by the lake, checking out the beach possibilities & having a snack at a place called Gus' that seems to have had its heyday already. The clientele were generally older & the menu reflected that. It reminded me of the Apple Tree, a restaurant we used to go to for Sunday dinner after church when I was a kid. We had a plate of nachos, listened to an old woman boss her long-suffering husband around incessantly & then moved homeward for a nap. I had been seized with a deep exhaustion, so I was thrilled when J suggested napping. We woke up so late that cooking anything fancy would have been impractical if not disastrous. So, she permitted me to make the scrambled eggs with basil & cheddar I'd planned for the night before. I made some corn toasties with them & we had cherries, too. She ended up loving it. We had fun watching Bill Engvall on Comedy Central while we ate.
Sunday morning, we left without directions to the church we had attended & liked the week before. I couldn't remember the exit number, so we ended up driving all over Cleveland before giving up & going home to plan our afternoon. We couldn't decide between the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame & the botanical garden, so we rolled the dice & got the botanical garden. It was wonderful!!! Just wonderful! First, we went into the butterfly houses. Amazing! One even landed on me, which felt like an honor. My favorites were the orange Julias & the great big blue ones. The garden in the South American butterfly house reminded me of the Opryland Hotel. We grabbed a bite to eat & then went outside. I love weddings & got to see a bride going about the gardens getting her pictures taken, which is always very exciting for me. I don't know why I adore weddings like I do, but I really do. The flowers for the reception were gorgeous, bluish-purple hydrangeas in low, graceful arrangements. The flowers outside in the gardens were beautiful, too. I would love to take Pie, who is a rose fan, to the rose garden in June. My favorite garden was probably the herb garden, reminding me, with its scented geraniums & knot layout, both of trips to Meadowsweet Herb Farm in Vermont & Carnton Plantation in Tennessee. After our delicious afternoon, we stopped for ice cream, then got serious about getting pictures hung. By the time we sat down to our roast, the apartment looked marvelous!
We spent much of the morning in bed, before getting ourselves going to the Westside Market. We had a grand time prowling the stalls there. As we were waiting for our breakfast, a Cornish pasty, we ran into the brother of my very hip friend from high school, Mimi Flaherty. Mimi & I used to go to dinner at the Spaghetti Warehouse Friday nights, then hang out in the Oregon District browsing the thrift & vintage shops, as well as Paprika's, which sold an eclectic bunch of things like art deco rubber stamps & black & white postcards. She was the friend who called to invite me to Denny's late one Thanksgiving, where we wore vintage clothes & pretended to smoke Eve Menthol 120s, just because we thought it was funny. She was the friend who skipped school with me & went to Cincinnati, with my older friend Rachel (who was skipping work), to go shopping at the fancy department stores and have a chi-chi lunch at the Hyatt. Mimi wore an amazingly garish green vintage gown to the prom, which David Letterman did not attend with her, despite her inviting him. Mimi was cool & we lost touch until very recently, when she moved home from San Francisco with her amazingly gorgeous daughter, Mirrin. Mike was always a pretty nice guy, 3 years ahead of us in school. He seems like he's still a nice guy. We are so new here that is absolutely astonishing to hear my name called out in a public place. We talked a bit about our hometown, about Cleveland and about food. Mimi had told him I was doing restaurant reviews, so he wanted my take on good places to eat here. We will have to have him over to dinner sometime. He seemed lonesome, having only moved here in the past few years himself.
After lunch, we went driving by the lake, checking out the beach possibilities & having a snack at a place called Gus' that seems to have had its heyday already. The clientele were generally older & the menu reflected that. It reminded me of the Apple Tree, a restaurant we used to go to for Sunday dinner after church when I was a kid. We had a plate of nachos, listened to an old woman boss her long-suffering husband around incessantly & then moved homeward for a nap. I had been seized with a deep exhaustion, so I was thrilled when J suggested napping. We woke up so late that cooking anything fancy would have been impractical if not disastrous. So, she permitted me to make the scrambled eggs with basil & cheddar I'd planned for the night before. I made some corn toasties with them & we had cherries, too. She ended up loving it. We had fun watching Bill Engvall on Comedy Central while we ate.
Sunday morning, we left without directions to the church we had attended & liked the week before. I couldn't remember the exit number, so we ended up driving all over Cleveland before giving up & going home to plan our afternoon. We couldn't decide between the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame & the botanical garden, so we rolled the dice & got the botanical garden. It was wonderful!!! Just wonderful! First, we went into the butterfly houses. Amazing! One even landed on me, which felt like an honor. My favorites were the orange Julias & the great big blue ones. The garden in the South American butterfly house reminded me of the Opryland Hotel. We grabbed a bite to eat & then went outside. I love weddings & got to see a bride going about the gardens getting her pictures taken, which is always very exciting for me. I don't know why I adore weddings like I do, but I really do. The flowers for the reception were gorgeous, bluish-purple hydrangeas in low, graceful arrangements. The flowers outside in the gardens were beautiful, too. I would love to take Pie, who is a rose fan, to the rose garden in June. My favorite garden was probably the herb garden, reminding me, with its scented geraniums & knot layout, both of trips to Meadowsweet Herb Farm in Vermont & Carnton Plantation in Tennessee. After our delicious afternoon, we stopped for ice cream, then got serious about getting pictures hung. By the time we sat down to our roast, the apartment looked marvelous!
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Weekend Antiquing
The weekend started with bad news. We had been expecting a visit from my mom, but she called Friday morning to tell me that her dear, sweet kitty Bobo is very ill. He has a respiratory infection, can barely eat and is getting very weak. Anyone who is inclined to do so, he sure could use your prayers!
With the visit postponed, we decided to make it a weekend for poking around the antique stores in Avon. Friday night when my Beloved got home from work, I had to greet her with the news that I had prepared a bum crockpot recipe. Not enough liquid was called for and the cooking times were off. It burned. So, we decided to have dessert first. I made a reasonable facsimile of Applebee's white chocolate walnut blondie, a treat I was introduced to by my friend, Evvi. It is delicious and this version was no less so!
With our bellies full of sweets, we headed to the bookstores. My order was in & I used my gift certificate for that. It is a book called Refuse to Choose by Barbara Sher. It was recommended to me by my life coach. I hosted a book signing for Barbara Sher when she was touring for her fabulous book, I Could Do Anything (If I Only Knew What It Was) and found her to be a delightful person. I also picked up a (so-far) thoroughly enjoyable novel by Kris Radish called Annie Freeman's Fabulous Traveling Funeral. I've been eyeing it for a few weeks & finally decided to pick it up. I limited my magazine intake to 2, Weekend and Somerset Studio Home. I've already begun to implement one of the ideas in that, an old tin plate embellished with vintage photo images. J got C.J. Cherryh's Chanur trilogy, a book on vocabulary for those who don't need it and a book of 100 vampire stories (this last $1.00, a penny per story!). After shopping, we wandered across the street to Hoggy's for some barbecue. It wasn't Bubba's Q, but it wasn't bad. I had a brisket sandwich and macaroni & cheese with chili poured over it.
Saturday morning, I made scrambled eggs with salsa & cheese, eaten dipped up in pinches of tortilla. This craving was brought on by reading The Hummingbird's Daughter by Luis Urrea. What a great book! After breakfast, we hit the antique stores. We had an absolute ball & ended up finding all kinds of wonderful vintage photos, a darling little 1930s table for J's stereo equipment (I decoupaged vintage beach & lake photos on it yesterday & it looks really neat) and some old shutters for an advent calendar project I've had in mind. We also ended up accidentally meeting someone who knew my cousin back when he was playing hockey for the Cleveland North Coast Barons. I paid with a check & the owner expressed surprise over seeing my last name. I figured perhaps she knew my uncle or aunt, who also live in this area. However, it was actually my cousin. Her son played hockey, too, and they took my cousin in just when he needed it most. I have long heard about how kind they were to him. She now owns an antique store.
Lunch on Saturday was so good that we made reservations for Sunday on our way out the door. We stopped at The Tree House Tea Room, which isn't actually a tea room, but is definitely a purveyor of lady food. J had lobster bisque so good that she had to order another cup and half a tuna salad sandwich. I opted for chicken artichoke soup and chicken salad. All served with copious amounts of fruit. For dessert, we split the decidedly old-fashioned grasshopper pie, feeling like we should break out the bridge hands next.
Dinner on Saturday wasn't as good. I got started cooking late & by the time we ate, it was way too late for lamb, which is what I made. It was a great gourmet meal, but all either of us really wanted at that hour was salad. We have made a pact that if we get in late & it looks like we won't eat until after 9 if we cook a fancy meal, we will simply eat out or have something simple and quick like soup & sandwiches. We eagerly devoured our iceberg wedges with homemade Maytag blue cheese dressing and toasted almonds. We picked at our wine-braised lamb shanks & lemon caper mashed potatoes.
Sunday morning, we tried a new church in Cleveland. I think it may be a good fit for us. The structure itself is beautiful, the service was to our liking and the people were friendly, encouraging us to eat our coffee hour watermelon at their table. There was plenty of diversity, in economic status, race, orientation, age. There were lots of kids, too. I hope they will take me on as an intern for the coming year.
After church, we headed out for more antiquing and another Tree House lunch. This time, we both got the lobster bisque and I tried their quiche, which was nearly as good as my almost-grandma's. J had the lobster salad, which was also great. Instead of being in the back room, this time we got to sit on the glassed-in porch, surrounded by greenery. It reminded me that I would really like to have a sleeping porch on our new house. My grandmom's stories about the sleeping porch when she was a kid have affected me.
We poked around Michael's & picked up some craft supplies, went to Kohl's & picked up some gifts for my cousin's new baby & clothes for our kids and checked out an open house, a beautiful 2 story house with a huge kitchen. I wish our other house would sell soon! The apartment is wonderful for a temporary space, but I want more storage room!
Sunday night, J suggested we grab dinner out. We were mulling over the possibilities when I suggested the Savannah. It was really smoky the last time we went in & we ended up turning around & leaving. On a Sunday afternoon, though, the smoke wasn't too bad. And the cheeseburgers were amazing! We ran into my aunt's sister, too, which was fun. All in all, it was a very relaxing weekend, which we need in the middle of all this custody craziness.
With the visit postponed, we decided to make it a weekend for poking around the antique stores in Avon. Friday night when my Beloved got home from work, I had to greet her with the news that I had prepared a bum crockpot recipe. Not enough liquid was called for and the cooking times were off. It burned. So, we decided to have dessert first. I made a reasonable facsimile of Applebee's white chocolate walnut blondie, a treat I was introduced to by my friend, Evvi. It is delicious and this version was no less so!
With our bellies full of sweets, we headed to the bookstores. My order was in & I used my gift certificate for that. It is a book called Refuse to Choose by Barbara Sher. It was recommended to me by my life coach. I hosted a book signing for Barbara Sher when she was touring for her fabulous book, I Could Do Anything (If I Only Knew What It Was) and found her to be a delightful person. I also picked up a (so-far) thoroughly enjoyable novel by Kris Radish called Annie Freeman's Fabulous Traveling Funeral. I've been eyeing it for a few weeks & finally decided to pick it up. I limited my magazine intake to 2, Weekend and Somerset Studio Home. I've already begun to implement one of the ideas in that, an old tin plate embellished with vintage photo images. J got C.J. Cherryh's Chanur trilogy, a book on vocabulary for those who don't need it and a book of 100 vampire stories (this last $1.00, a penny per story!). After shopping, we wandered across the street to Hoggy's for some barbecue. It wasn't Bubba's Q, but it wasn't bad. I had a brisket sandwich and macaroni & cheese with chili poured over it.
Saturday morning, I made scrambled eggs with salsa & cheese, eaten dipped up in pinches of tortilla. This craving was brought on by reading The Hummingbird's Daughter by Luis Urrea. What a great book! After breakfast, we hit the antique stores. We had an absolute ball & ended up finding all kinds of wonderful vintage photos, a darling little 1930s table for J's stereo equipment (I decoupaged vintage beach & lake photos on it yesterday & it looks really neat) and some old shutters for an advent calendar project I've had in mind. We also ended up accidentally meeting someone who knew my cousin back when he was playing hockey for the Cleveland North Coast Barons. I paid with a check & the owner expressed surprise over seeing my last name. I figured perhaps she knew my uncle or aunt, who also live in this area. However, it was actually my cousin. Her son played hockey, too, and they took my cousin in just when he needed it most. I have long heard about how kind they were to him. She now owns an antique store.
Lunch on Saturday was so good that we made reservations for Sunday on our way out the door. We stopped at The Tree House Tea Room, which isn't actually a tea room, but is definitely a purveyor of lady food. J had lobster bisque so good that she had to order another cup and half a tuna salad sandwich. I opted for chicken artichoke soup and chicken salad. All served with copious amounts of fruit. For dessert, we split the decidedly old-fashioned grasshopper pie, feeling like we should break out the bridge hands next.
Dinner on Saturday wasn't as good. I got started cooking late & by the time we ate, it was way too late for lamb, which is what I made. It was a great gourmet meal, but all either of us really wanted at that hour was salad. We have made a pact that if we get in late & it looks like we won't eat until after 9 if we cook a fancy meal, we will simply eat out or have something simple and quick like soup & sandwiches. We eagerly devoured our iceberg wedges with homemade Maytag blue cheese dressing and toasted almonds. We picked at our wine-braised lamb shanks & lemon caper mashed potatoes.
Sunday morning, we tried a new church in Cleveland. I think it may be a good fit for us. The structure itself is beautiful, the service was to our liking and the people were friendly, encouraging us to eat our coffee hour watermelon at their table. There was plenty of diversity, in economic status, race, orientation, age. There were lots of kids, too. I hope they will take me on as an intern for the coming year.
After church, we headed out for more antiquing and another Tree House lunch. This time, we both got the lobster bisque and I tried their quiche, which was nearly as good as my almost-grandma's. J had the lobster salad, which was also great. Instead of being in the back room, this time we got to sit on the glassed-in porch, surrounded by greenery. It reminded me that I would really like to have a sleeping porch on our new house. My grandmom's stories about the sleeping porch when she was a kid have affected me.
We poked around Michael's & picked up some craft supplies, went to Kohl's & picked up some gifts for my cousin's new baby & clothes for our kids and checked out an open house, a beautiful 2 story house with a huge kitchen. I wish our other house would sell soon! The apartment is wonderful for a temporary space, but I want more storage room!
Sunday night, J suggested we grab dinner out. We were mulling over the possibilities when I suggested the Savannah. It was really smoky the last time we went in & we ended up turning around & leaving. On a Sunday afternoon, though, the smoke wasn't too bad. And the cheeseburgers were amazing! We ran into my aunt's sister, too, which was fun. All in all, it was a very relaxing weekend, which we need in the middle of all this custody craziness.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
August Update
You'd think with no classes in session, I would have more free time, but such is not the case. This is just a very brief check-in with my week so far. I spent almost all day Monday, along with my Beloved, being interviewed (grilled?) by the guardian ad litem for the children. He was decent to me, but really tough on J. The main thing he mentioned to me, aside from the need to give the boys a consequence every time they lie and the need to protect Pie from his brother's controlling & bullying, is that there are pictures, supposedly of our apartment, with empty liquor bottles scattered all over the place. I don't know if these are the old staged photos from the first round of custody or ones the boys staged here, perhaps using liquor bottles supplied by their father's best (and only) friend, Henry the Bartender, who wins every time he goes gambling. Oy vey! Since neither of us drinks heavily and J doesn't drink any alcohol at all but beer, this is ridiculous. It is made more so by the fact that their father left the Navy after a period of time in a military alcohol treatment program, stated reason being alcoholism, and the fact that he was arrested for domestic violence against J while abusing alcohol, by his own statement to the police and later to a psychological evaluator. Mister, if you're going to cook up false allegations, pick something that is remotely possible...and that won't hit close to home for you! The liquor bottles in our house rarely get empty because we rarely open them. I have a 3/4 full bottle of rum that I bought for my 34th birthday party. I just turned 36. I buy alcohol so infrequently that I don't even know where the liquor store here is. Another piece of information is that the ex doesn't seem to be working. Why should he? He has no bills, his mommy pays them all. I wonder if she pays for his fancy new Jeep.
Anyway, we went back to my grands' to debrief after the interview, which lasted from 1:30 until 7. We headed home about 9, stopping for carry-out Steak & Shake near Columbus & arriving home around 1:30. I was too keyed up to sleep, so I read The Hummingbird's Daughter, a wonderful book by Luis Urrea, until 2, when I made myself go to sleep. J had to work Tuesday, so didn't have the luxury of going back to sleep. I took lunch to her and heard from her shortly after that that she had a migraine, her first in months. When I picked her up at 4:30, she went right to bed. I heated up her headache pillow, rubbed her back with Tranquil Sleep oil and hit the kitchen to make some comfort food. I took in trays of roast chicken with herbes de Provence, garlic whipped potatoes with gravy, corn and Rainier cherries and we had dinner in bed.
Yesterday, her head was better, but she was still feeling pretty down. That is his entire intent, to drain her emotionally and financially because he is still furious with her for leaving him. And the kids are busy stomping on her heart. It's very hard to watch. I reminded her that all we have to do is get through another 4 years of this, less time than we have already spent together. Once Boot turns 18, I am sure he will choose to move in with his father right away. I don't think he'll fight for custody of Pie. He's never really wanted Pie. If we can survive the next 4 years, things should be easier then. The whole affair is just tragic, whichever way you look at it. I wish that their father could find a way to be happy, genuinely, heart-healingly happy. Then, he could move on & stop torturing J. And the children. I don't know if he realizes at all the damage he is inflicting on the kids. I doubt he would care if he did realize it.
Last night, I made more comfort food, Southwest beef stew, beer bread and fresh baby spinach. We watched the amazingly fatuous "America's Got Talent"...what an embarrassing show for me as an American to watch. We also watched a bit of the coverage on Fidel Castro on the news. I am sickened by the thought of Miami Cubans celebrating his grave illness in the streets. Yes, he has been cruel and done some very evil things. I should know. He put my grandparents in prison. However, to celebrate someone's serious illness or death is beyond the pale, no matter how dark they are.
This morning, I spoke to my mom. We had been looking forward to her visit this weekend, but she had bad news. Their sweet kitty, Bobo, has been very seriously ill with a respiratory infection. They have been giving him medication and rubbing baby food on his lips so he can lick it off & get nourishment. But, it wasn't until today that he could drink any water. He might be doing better. He was at the bottom of the loft ladder this morning, meowing good morning greetings. He was also able to jump up on one of the bookshelves. But, still, my mom will have to stay close, so no visit right now. I am so worried about that kitty-boy. He is fabulous. I understand why they might want him on the other side, but we still need him here. Handling a pet's illness is such a hard thing. Going through what I went through with Thor and then with Jasper, my heart is with them as they work to help him heal.
Anyway, we went back to my grands' to debrief after the interview, which lasted from 1:30 until 7. We headed home about 9, stopping for carry-out Steak & Shake near Columbus & arriving home around 1:30. I was too keyed up to sleep, so I read The Hummingbird's Daughter, a wonderful book by Luis Urrea, until 2, when I made myself go to sleep. J had to work Tuesday, so didn't have the luxury of going back to sleep. I took lunch to her and heard from her shortly after that that she had a migraine, her first in months. When I picked her up at 4:30, she went right to bed. I heated up her headache pillow, rubbed her back with Tranquil Sleep oil and hit the kitchen to make some comfort food. I took in trays of roast chicken with herbes de Provence, garlic whipped potatoes with gravy, corn and Rainier cherries and we had dinner in bed.
Yesterday, her head was better, but she was still feeling pretty down. That is his entire intent, to drain her emotionally and financially because he is still furious with her for leaving him. And the kids are busy stomping on her heart. It's very hard to watch. I reminded her that all we have to do is get through another 4 years of this, less time than we have already spent together. Once Boot turns 18, I am sure he will choose to move in with his father right away. I don't think he'll fight for custody of Pie. He's never really wanted Pie. If we can survive the next 4 years, things should be easier then. The whole affair is just tragic, whichever way you look at it. I wish that their father could find a way to be happy, genuinely, heart-healingly happy. Then, he could move on & stop torturing J. And the children. I don't know if he realizes at all the damage he is inflicting on the kids. I doubt he would care if he did realize it.
Last night, I made more comfort food, Southwest beef stew, beer bread and fresh baby spinach. We watched the amazingly fatuous "America's Got Talent"...what an embarrassing show for me as an American to watch. We also watched a bit of the coverage on Fidel Castro on the news. I am sickened by the thought of Miami Cubans celebrating his grave illness in the streets. Yes, he has been cruel and done some very evil things. I should know. He put my grandparents in prison. However, to celebrate someone's serious illness or death is beyond the pale, no matter how dark they are.
This morning, I spoke to my mom. We had been looking forward to her visit this weekend, but she had bad news. Their sweet kitty, Bobo, has been very seriously ill with a respiratory infection. They have been giving him medication and rubbing baby food on his lips so he can lick it off & get nourishment. But, it wasn't until today that he could drink any water. He might be doing better. He was at the bottom of the loft ladder this morning, meowing good morning greetings. He was also able to jump up on one of the bookshelves. But, still, my mom will have to stay close, so no visit right now. I am so worried about that kitty-boy. He is fabulous. I understand why they might want him on the other side, but we still need him here. Handling a pet's illness is such a hard thing. Going through what I went through with Thor and then with Jasper, my heart is with them as they work to help him heal.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Sweeties, Queers and Stingrays
We started last weekend with our monthly anniversary dinner, necessarily observed at a place amenable to the kids. They would, I'm certain, have preferred to celebrate with pizza delivery...or not at all, in the case of our oldest, who has developed a delightful case of homophobia in the past year. While I would have preferred we go to Brio, we ended up at an Irish-style pub instead. It was fine, although the children opted not to interact with us much, hurting J's feelings. Their father's influence is not helping matters. At least Boot wasn't texting with him the whole time. Pie had his standard cheeseburger, Boot insisted on wings and also a chicken sandwich (he is going to sprout feathers), J had a fabulous steak with blue cheese butter and I went for Irish stew. I shouldn't have. It wasn't bad, just not as good as mine. I shouldn't order things in restaurants when I make them well. After dinner, we poked around Trader Joe's for a few minutes, Pie griping all the way because he is screen-addicted & wanted to be at home. Because he griped so much about wanting to GO NOW, J decided it would be fine to stop at the bookstore at Boot's request. We bought him a book on American cars of the 1960s, while Pie refused to look at books. I got People en Español for myself as a reward for accomplishing one of my life-coaching goals.
Yes, I have started with a life coach, a friend of mine who recently hung out her shingle. I have always considered her wise, but now she is doling out her wisdom & her positive attitude for a living. When she offered to take me on as a pro bono client, I jumped at the opportunity. The main thing we're working on right now is my tendency to procrastinate. This seems to run in my family & I often joke that I've got a PhD in it. However, the joke isn't really funny. I always get what needs to be done done, but I suffer worry about it...or stubbly legs...until I do. Why go through that when I don't have to? So, my assignments for the week are:
1. Make a list of everything I've completed in my life
2. Empty out & organize 3 boxes of papers in our closet so that I have room for a well-organized and easily accessible art supply storage spot
3. Buy a shower curtain I love, with no input from anyone else
4. Create an enjoyable ritual for beauty time just for me (I have vowed to take a bubble bath every Friday & shave my legs while I'm at it)
After we took the boys home, we popped out to Baskin-Robbins & enjoyed our dessert on a bench in front. Can you imagine little boys who would rather go home than get ice cream??? They begged us to take them home before getting ice cream! "Oh, PLEASE don't make us get ice cream!!!" What on earth? After our Rocky Road and Peanut Butter Chocolate, we came home. J went to bed to catch up on her vampire book & I ran myself a tub. It was delightfully relaxing.
Saturday morning, we slept in deliciously late. When we finally got the kids roused, I made doughnuts for us all. Of course, they claimed to like the ones from the store better, but I noticed Boot ate his whole share and some of his brother's, as well. We went to a big flea market & found some fun things there. I got an old household ledger & a couple of old photos. J found some photos, too, and the kids got a Nintendogs game for the new DS system we bought them later in the day. We also had some great food. Boot got a cheeseburger & fries, which he doused with hot sauce & then didn't eat. J & I picked up an empanadilla and a couple other Mexican treats to share. Pie just wanted to go get his DS!!! We stopped on the way home & picked that up for them. They had been given the choice to go to Geauga Lake, Dave & Buster's or Fun World or to get the DS. Of course, once they had it, they didn't want to go anywhere. So, we allowed them to go home & we walked around Crocker Park's Independence Day fair. There was live music and sidewalk chalk art, a rocket car giving rides and free plants from Aveda. We each got a vinca & have them planted in our planting bed here at the apartment. We had a very nice time walking around in the sun together, people-watching & enjoying the day. We stopped for chocolate-covered strawberries, sitting by the fountain to eat them. That evening, J grilled hot dogs & Italian sausage at the pool. Once home, J re-immersed herself in her vampires and I watched Spanish-language t.v.
In the morning, we tried another church. Liberation UCC is listed as "Open & Affirming" on the UCC website. My mentor, Dave, had told me that in their case it means open to heterosexuals and affirming of their life choices. I suspected it would not be for me and I was right. The people were friendly, the service was nice & traditional in form and the sermon was right on target. However, there was simply not enough diversity for me. If there had been even a few straight folks, I might have considered it. However, everyone there was gay, as far as I could tell. Boot was incredibly hostile about the whole thing. His homophobia is rampant enough right now that he refused to put the dollar we gave him into the plate...and wouldn't let his brother do it, either. He did, however, stay polite enough to shake hands and to respond briefly when greeted, which I considered a victory. When the kids complained that they were the only straight people there, J told them that now they can understand how she feels when we go to other churches. Boot has the crazy idea that they would try to make him gay if we went there. He doesn't understand that we are not in the business of recruiting, that we know better than anyone that there is no changing someone's orientation. We are perfectly happy for him to be straight. Pie, too. In fact, J would rather they were. I just want them to be happy and comfortable with themselves, whomever they end up loving. I do hope Boot grows out of his homophobia. He says, "I just don't agree with it. The Bible says it's a sin." Well, buddy, the Bible says a lot of things (like children who don't honor their parents are to be put to death) and has been interpreted as saying a lot more things. But, the primary lesson in the Bible seems to be to love God and one another. And to do justice. He did say, in the car, "That ain't right" when J said something about someone losing their job for being gay. There is hope.
Again, the kids refused to accompany us on our fun excursion, to B.A. Sweetie candy store, which claims to be the biggest candy store in the world and is certainly the biggest I've ever been in. Can you imagine kids not wanting to go to the candy store??? So, we went without them. I was on the hunt for gummi octopuses for a cake I wanted to make. I found them, too! We picked up all kinds of fun things for both the kids and ourselves. I think Pie's favorite was either a huge Symphony bar or a toy Gamecube filled with gummi Mario Brothers characters. Boot seemed quite fond of his worms & dirt in a test tube, that he got to eat with tweezers. He was also big on the root beer and blue raspberry Fizzies we got. You drop them in water & they make soda. After our candy store visit, we refueled with some chips & dip at Don Pablo's, then hit the grocery.
Once home, J made an angel food cake & I made Jell-o. Then, we went to the pool with Boot, giving in to Pie's begging to please be allowed to stay at the apartment. At least Boot likes the pool! I made dinner right out of this month's Gourmet: tilapia & salmon with lime butter sauce, angelhair with fresh tomato sauce, corn with chives and basil, green beans. For dessert, I decorated the angel food cake to be a beach cake, with blue waves frolicking on the sides and gummi octopuses and cocktail umbrellas adorning the top. Pie said it was the coolest cake ever & Boot ate large amounts of it, too, even sneaking it Monday morning before breakfast.
While Boot was sneaking cake, J & I were in bed watching the last half of The Net, one of my favorite suspense movies. We had a real lounge-around day, due in part to J's migraine. We spent the morning & early afternoon at the pool, even making Pie come (he refused to get in). Then, J napped on the couch & the boys played together while I ran to the grocery. J & I watched Crash when I got home, then I made BLT pizza for dinner.
The kids were with their father most of the 4th. We had McDonald's for breakfast, then they were out the door. J had wanted to go to the zoo Sunday & Monday, but the kids pleaded not to be dragged to the zoo. Can you imagine kids not wanting to go to the zoo??? So, we headed out ourselves while the kids were with their father. We walked around the zoo from 10:30 in the morning until 5 in the afternoon. We got to touch sharks & stingrays. The sharks were fairly reticent & I only touched one and that very briefly. It was bumpy and much rougher than I'd expected. The rays, though, were soft as velvet and seemed very interested in being touched. We would hold our hands, palms-up, in the water and they would come along & swim up to slide their undersides against our palms. It was very cool. We saw baby giraffes, all kinds of fabulous cats, a gorilla that beat its chest at J when she made monkey noises, elephants who wanted OUTSIDE (their outdoor area was being cleaned), polar bears with itchy noses. We got a ton of exercise, too.
On the way home, we stopped at The Winking Lizard for drinks on the patio. Then, we went down to the pool for shish kebabs and a swim. Since the boys weren't around to try & dunk me, squirt water at me and generally make the pool an unfun place for me, I got in & swam. J & I did some laps, some dolphin-diving and some floating. I practiced my handstands & somersaults, too. I love being in the water. Once the kids returned, we watched fireworks from our balcony with Pie, who says he's going to be a "pyromaniac technician" when he grows up. That kid adores fireworks! We went outside & let him do a sparkler tree, then watched fireworks in another direction. What fun! Next year, when they won't be returning late, we will get to go to a display instead of watching them from home.
Yes, I have started with a life coach, a friend of mine who recently hung out her shingle. I have always considered her wise, but now she is doling out her wisdom & her positive attitude for a living. When she offered to take me on as a pro bono client, I jumped at the opportunity. The main thing we're working on right now is my tendency to procrastinate. This seems to run in my family & I often joke that I've got a PhD in it. However, the joke isn't really funny. I always get what needs to be done done, but I suffer worry about it...or stubbly legs...until I do. Why go through that when I don't have to? So, my assignments for the week are:
1. Make a list of everything I've completed in my life
2. Empty out & organize 3 boxes of papers in our closet so that I have room for a well-organized and easily accessible art supply storage spot
3. Buy a shower curtain I love, with no input from anyone else
4. Create an enjoyable ritual for beauty time just for me (I have vowed to take a bubble bath every Friday & shave my legs while I'm at it)
After we took the boys home, we popped out to Baskin-Robbins & enjoyed our dessert on a bench in front. Can you imagine little boys who would rather go home than get ice cream??? They begged us to take them home before getting ice cream! "Oh, PLEASE don't make us get ice cream!!!" What on earth? After our Rocky Road and Peanut Butter Chocolate, we came home. J went to bed to catch up on her vampire book & I ran myself a tub. It was delightfully relaxing.
Saturday morning, we slept in deliciously late. When we finally got the kids roused, I made doughnuts for us all. Of course, they claimed to like the ones from the store better, but I noticed Boot ate his whole share and some of his brother's, as well. We went to a big flea market & found some fun things there. I got an old household ledger & a couple of old photos. J found some photos, too, and the kids got a Nintendogs game for the new DS system we bought them later in the day. We also had some great food. Boot got a cheeseburger & fries, which he doused with hot sauce & then didn't eat. J & I picked up an empanadilla and a couple other Mexican treats to share. Pie just wanted to go get his DS!!! We stopped on the way home & picked that up for them. They had been given the choice to go to Geauga Lake, Dave & Buster's or Fun World or to get the DS. Of course, once they had it, they didn't want to go anywhere. So, we allowed them to go home & we walked around Crocker Park's Independence Day fair. There was live music and sidewalk chalk art, a rocket car giving rides and free plants from Aveda. We each got a vinca & have them planted in our planting bed here at the apartment. We had a very nice time walking around in the sun together, people-watching & enjoying the day. We stopped for chocolate-covered strawberries, sitting by the fountain to eat them. That evening, J grilled hot dogs & Italian sausage at the pool. Once home, J re-immersed herself in her vampires and I watched Spanish-language t.v.
In the morning, we tried another church. Liberation UCC is listed as "Open & Affirming" on the UCC website. My mentor, Dave, had told me that in their case it means open to heterosexuals and affirming of their life choices. I suspected it would not be for me and I was right. The people were friendly, the service was nice & traditional in form and the sermon was right on target. However, there was simply not enough diversity for me. If there had been even a few straight folks, I might have considered it. However, everyone there was gay, as far as I could tell. Boot was incredibly hostile about the whole thing. His homophobia is rampant enough right now that he refused to put the dollar we gave him into the plate...and wouldn't let his brother do it, either. He did, however, stay polite enough to shake hands and to respond briefly when greeted, which I considered a victory. When the kids complained that they were the only straight people there, J told them that now they can understand how she feels when we go to other churches. Boot has the crazy idea that they would try to make him gay if we went there. He doesn't understand that we are not in the business of recruiting, that we know better than anyone that there is no changing someone's orientation. We are perfectly happy for him to be straight. Pie, too. In fact, J would rather they were. I just want them to be happy and comfortable with themselves, whomever they end up loving. I do hope Boot grows out of his homophobia. He says, "I just don't agree with it. The Bible says it's a sin." Well, buddy, the Bible says a lot of things (like children who don't honor their parents are to be put to death) and has been interpreted as saying a lot more things. But, the primary lesson in the Bible seems to be to love God and one another. And to do justice. He did say, in the car, "That ain't right" when J said something about someone losing their job for being gay. There is hope.
Again, the kids refused to accompany us on our fun excursion, to B.A. Sweetie candy store, which claims to be the biggest candy store in the world and is certainly the biggest I've ever been in. Can you imagine kids not wanting to go to the candy store??? So, we went without them. I was on the hunt for gummi octopuses for a cake I wanted to make. I found them, too! We picked up all kinds of fun things for both the kids and ourselves. I think Pie's favorite was either a huge Symphony bar or a toy Gamecube filled with gummi Mario Brothers characters. Boot seemed quite fond of his worms & dirt in a test tube, that he got to eat with tweezers. He was also big on the root beer and blue raspberry Fizzies we got. You drop them in water & they make soda. After our candy store visit, we refueled with some chips & dip at Don Pablo's, then hit the grocery.
Once home, J made an angel food cake & I made Jell-o. Then, we went to the pool with Boot, giving in to Pie's begging to please be allowed to stay at the apartment. At least Boot likes the pool! I made dinner right out of this month's Gourmet: tilapia & salmon with lime butter sauce, angelhair with fresh tomato sauce, corn with chives and basil, green beans. For dessert, I decorated the angel food cake to be a beach cake, with blue waves frolicking on the sides and gummi octopuses and cocktail umbrellas adorning the top. Pie said it was the coolest cake ever & Boot ate large amounts of it, too, even sneaking it Monday morning before breakfast.
While Boot was sneaking cake, J & I were in bed watching the last half of The Net, one of my favorite suspense movies. We had a real lounge-around day, due in part to J's migraine. We spent the morning & early afternoon at the pool, even making Pie come (he refused to get in). Then, J napped on the couch & the boys played together while I ran to the grocery. J & I watched Crash when I got home, then I made BLT pizza for dinner.
The kids were with their father most of the 4th. We had McDonald's for breakfast, then they were out the door. J had wanted to go to the zoo Sunday & Monday, but the kids pleaded not to be dragged to the zoo. Can you imagine kids not wanting to go to the zoo??? So, we headed out ourselves while the kids were with their father. We walked around the zoo from 10:30 in the morning until 5 in the afternoon. We got to touch sharks & stingrays. The sharks were fairly reticent & I only touched one and that very briefly. It was bumpy and much rougher than I'd expected. The rays, though, were soft as velvet and seemed very interested in being touched. We would hold our hands, palms-up, in the water and they would come along & swim up to slide their undersides against our palms. It was very cool. We saw baby giraffes, all kinds of fabulous cats, a gorilla that beat its chest at J when she made monkey noises, elephants who wanted OUTSIDE (their outdoor area was being cleaned), polar bears with itchy noses. We got a ton of exercise, too.
On the way home, we stopped at The Winking Lizard for drinks on the patio. Then, we went down to the pool for shish kebabs and a swim. Since the boys weren't around to try & dunk me, squirt water at me and generally make the pool an unfun place for me, I got in & swam. J & I did some laps, some dolphin-diving and some floating. I practiced my handstands & somersaults, too. I love being in the water. Once the kids returned, we watched fireworks from our balcony with Pie, who says he's going to be a "pyromaniac technician" when he grows up. That kid adores fireworks! We went outside & let him do a sparkler tree, then watched fireworks in another direction. What fun! Next year, when they won't be returning late, we will get to go to a display instead of watching them from home.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Indians and Greeks
J was able to get us tickets for really decent seats at our first Cleveland Indians baseball game. They played the Reds Friday night. We showed up in plenty of time, were able (through diligence) to find $5 parking instead of $20 parking and had time to get a bite to eat before the game started. I spent much of the game being vigilant so that no foul balls would conk me in the head. Have I mentioned that sports and I do not mix? I spent a decent portion of my formative years dreading gym class because I was afraid of the ball & hated to run. I was always picked second to last for teams and invariably got blamed if our team lost. My grandparents say I was born a pacifist, so while I have always loved things like swimming and canoeing (a true water baby), I have never been a competitive sports fan. I imagine the attitude of my classmates toward my abilities did not encourage a love of sports, either. Imagine my surprise several years ago when I was coerced, after using my dressy shoes as an excuse only to be confronted with a spare pair of size 11 sneakers, into playing volleyball with a bunch of lesbians at a party and was actually able to serve fairly well. Or my astonishment when I played miniature golf with J & the boys last summer and beat the pants off them. Boot is convinced that I could be a good athlete and love sports, if I would just try. I have let go of a similar illusion regarding him and books.
So, despite my need to be vigilant & the kids' decrying of said need, I had a delightful time at the game. I can actually follow baseball to the point of knowing if someone scored or not. I don't know the names for all the pitches or plays, but I dated a boy who played baseball years ago & learned some then. I credit that same jock boy, who wasn't good for much else, with my football knowledge. I also love to watch the players' little rituals as they prepare to bat. That's my favorite part of the game. After the game, there were fireworks. And what fireworks! It was one of the most spectacular shows I have seen. Pie sat open-mouthed in wonder through the entire show. He adores fireworks. J & I were also rapt. Boot looked bored the whole time...surprised he wasn't text-messaging back & forth with his god...I mean, dad. Ah, teenage ennui. I was bratty enough at almost 16 to try to stay in the car when my grands took me to the Grand Canyon. When required to get out, I glanced at it and then said, "Okay, I've seen it. Can we go now?" What an absolute BRAT! In my defense, I had been on the road with my grands & staying in Los Angeles with our Vietnamese friends for 3 weeks and just wanted to get home to my mom & friends. Still. I was rewarded for my brattiness by also getting to see the Hoover Dam.
Saturday morning, after some sausage gravy & omelets, we spent much of the day at the pool. The kids complain that I never do anything fun at the pool. I "just sit in the water & read" instead of having fun. I blamed the cold water for awhile, then realized that my idea of fun in the pool and the kids' idea (and J's idea) are radically different. Even when I was a kid, I was never into dunking, splashing and squirt gun wars, nor did I indulge in "Tip The Raft" or "Race You To The Deep End" type games. J says it's because I never had brothers. I imagine my grands would say it's because I was born a pacifist, like my uncle Vic, who became a Canadian citizen in the late 1960s. The games I liked to play as a kid, the games all my girlfriends played, included "tea parties" on the bottom and contests to see who could do the most somersaults in the water ( I have been known to do 6 in a row), the longest hand stands, the bravest swim down to the drain, the quickest quarter retrievals. We would "dolphin dive" across the pool and see if we could keep our eyes open while emerging from the water and, yes, gossip on our towels during rest periods (that is, when we weren't flirting with cute boys at the concession stand at the bottom of the hill). So, the rough-housing J & the boys love to do in the water looks, frankly, unpleasant to me. I don't like to play like that. So, why should I? The boys make me feel as though I am boring or a bad stepmom because I don't play like that. Then, I look around & see that J is one of only a few adults actively engaged in such play. I am simply being grown. Now, if they would play the kind of pool games I like, I might join in. In the meantime, I will stick to trashy pool mags like Jane and conversation with the other girly girls.
After swimming, we had dinner at Alexander's with my uncle & aunt. It is always great hanging out with them & Saturday night was no exception. We sat on the patio talking for hours. They are getting ready to re-do their floors, all by themselves, with wood flooring. I am impressed! When they invited us to come by & visit the dogs, we nearly said yes before realizing that might be more than our bored boys could withstand.
We hit the first church on our shopping list Sunday morning, a congregational church in town that is not listed as "Open and Affirming" but which we thought would at least be close-by. I was happy to see a woman associate pastor and thought the church was lovely. The people were nice, although they seemed fairly conservative. The music for the day, selections from the Bill Gaither collection, made me long for good old karaoke church Christ-Pop like "Forever" and "Open the Eyes of my Heart", so dreadful was it. J kept writing me notes saying, "Make it stop!!!" Why can't we have the blues in church? At coffee hour, we met a very nice lesbian couple, so if we attend there, we won't be the first lesbians. That would be a nice change from the Presbyterian church we've been going to. Groundbreaking is all well & good, but it gets tiring after awhile. Boot, our little misogynist, hated the church as soon as he saw that there is a woman pastor. Pie just doesn't want to have to sit still that long.
After church, we allowed the kids to have a video game break. We fed them, then went to the Greek festival. When I was a kid, I would never have passed up an opportunity to go to a festival, but I was obviously a very different kid than these. We toured the beautiful church, with a retired priest who is definitely a vampire hunter when he is not leading tours. He was very kind & very interesting, with lots of historical knowledge to pass on to us. When we got to the "holy of holies" (not really, but the inner sanctum where the Word rests and women are never allowed), he said, "Now, I am going to show you something you have probably never seen before." When he withdrew a book from the altar, I expected something very old or very ornate. However, it was simply a Bible with Greek on one page and the English translation on the other. Heck, we OWN one of those! The priest held it up to J, expecting her to be amazed that it was in Greek. Instead, she began to read it aloud. What a great surprise for that priest! He turned out to be the one amazed, asking her, "Where did you learn ancient Greek???" She told him about her Master's degree in Judeo-Christian Studies in the Greco-Roman Period. A marvellous discussion ensued and we all had a great time. After the tour, we looked at the vendors' booths and had a bite to eat. J got a plate of fabulous chicken & artichokes with lemon-dill sauce and a tyropita. I had a combo plate, containing pastitsio, a Greek meatball, rice, a spanakopita, and dolmades. Before we left, we picked up a couple of pastries, too.
Sunday evening was spent at the pool, at the request of Boot. We grilled hot dogs & they played in the pool, while I read on a lounge chair & made bruschetta Caprese for an appetizer. It was a lovely evening until Boot got water in his eye & went stomping home. Temper, temper. The rest of us hung out in the hot tub for awhile before heading home ourselves.
So, despite my need to be vigilant & the kids' decrying of said need, I had a delightful time at the game. I can actually follow baseball to the point of knowing if someone scored or not. I don't know the names for all the pitches or plays, but I dated a boy who played baseball years ago & learned some then. I credit that same jock boy, who wasn't good for much else, with my football knowledge. I also love to watch the players' little rituals as they prepare to bat. That's my favorite part of the game. After the game, there were fireworks. And what fireworks! It was one of the most spectacular shows I have seen. Pie sat open-mouthed in wonder through the entire show. He adores fireworks. J & I were also rapt. Boot looked bored the whole time...surprised he wasn't text-messaging back & forth with his god...I mean, dad. Ah, teenage ennui. I was bratty enough at almost 16 to try to stay in the car when my grands took me to the Grand Canyon. When required to get out, I glanced at it and then said, "Okay, I've seen it. Can we go now?" What an absolute BRAT! In my defense, I had been on the road with my grands & staying in Los Angeles with our Vietnamese friends for 3 weeks and just wanted to get home to my mom & friends. Still. I was rewarded for my brattiness by also getting to see the Hoover Dam.
Saturday morning, after some sausage gravy & omelets, we spent much of the day at the pool. The kids complain that I never do anything fun at the pool. I "just sit in the water & read" instead of having fun. I blamed the cold water for awhile, then realized that my idea of fun in the pool and the kids' idea (and J's idea) are radically different. Even when I was a kid, I was never into dunking, splashing and squirt gun wars, nor did I indulge in "Tip The Raft" or "Race You To The Deep End" type games. J says it's because I never had brothers. I imagine my grands would say it's because I was born a pacifist, like my uncle Vic, who became a Canadian citizen in the late 1960s. The games I liked to play as a kid, the games all my girlfriends played, included "tea parties" on the bottom and contests to see who could do the most somersaults in the water ( I have been known to do 6 in a row), the longest hand stands, the bravest swim down to the drain, the quickest quarter retrievals. We would "dolphin dive" across the pool and see if we could keep our eyes open while emerging from the water and, yes, gossip on our towels during rest periods (that is, when we weren't flirting with cute boys at the concession stand at the bottom of the hill). So, the rough-housing J & the boys love to do in the water looks, frankly, unpleasant to me. I don't like to play like that. So, why should I? The boys make me feel as though I am boring or a bad stepmom because I don't play like that. Then, I look around & see that J is one of only a few adults actively engaged in such play. I am simply being grown. Now, if they would play the kind of pool games I like, I might join in. In the meantime, I will stick to trashy pool mags like Jane and conversation with the other girly girls.
After swimming, we had dinner at Alexander's with my uncle & aunt. It is always great hanging out with them & Saturday night was no exception. We sat on the patio talking for hours. They are getting ready to re-do their floors, all by themselves, with wood flooring. I am impressed! When they invited us to come by & visit the dogs, we nearly said yes before realizing that might be more than our bored boys could withstand.
We hit the first church on our shopping list Sunday morning, a congregational church in town that is not listed as "Open and Affirming" but which we thought would at least be close-by. I was happy to see a woman associate pastor and thought the church was lovely. The people were nice, although they seemed fairly conservative. The music for the day, selections from the Bill Gaither collection, made me long for good old karaoke church Christ-Pop like "Forever" and "Open the Eyes of my Heart", so dreadful was it. J kept writing me notes saying, "Make it stop!!!" Why can't we have the blues in church? At coffee hour, we met a very nice lesbian couple, so if we attend there, we won't be the first lesbians. That would be a nice change from the Presbyterian church we've been going to. Groundbreaking is all well & good, but it gets tiring after awhile. Boot, our little misogynist, hated the church as soon as he saw that there is a woman pastor. Pie just doesn't want to have to sit still that long.
After church, we allowed the kids to have a video game break. We fed them, then went to the Greek festival. When I was a kid, I would never have passed up an opportunity to go to a festival, but I was obviously a very different kid than these. We toured the beautiful church, with a retired priest who is definitely a vampire hunter when he is not leading tours. He was very kind & very interesting, with lots of historical knowledge to pass on to us. When we got to the "holy of holies" (not really, but the inner sanctum where the Word rests and women are never allowed), he said, "Now, I am going to show you something you have probably never seen before." When he withdrew a book from the altar, I expected something very old or very ornate. However, it was simply a Bible with Greek on one page and the English translation on the other. Heck, we OWN one of those! The priest held it up to J, expecting her to be amazed that it was in Greek. Instead, she began to read it aloud. What a great surprise for that priest! He turned out to be the one amazed, asking her, "Where did you learn ancient Greek???" She told him about her Master's degree in Judeo-Christian Studies in the Greco-Roman Period. A marvellous discussion ensued and we all had a great time. After the tour, we looked at the vendors' booths and had a bite to eat. J got a plate of fabulous chicken & artichokes with lemon-dill sauce and a tyropita. I had a combo plate, containing pastitsio, a Greek meatball, rice, a spanakopita, and dolmades. Before we left, we picked up a couple of pastries, too.
Sunday evening was spent at the pool, at the request of Boot. We grilled hot dogs & they played in the pool, while I read on a lounge chair & made bruschetta Caprese for an appetizer. It was a lovely evening until Boot got water in his eye & went stomping home. Temper, temper. The rest of us hung out in the hot tub for awhile before heading home ourselves.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Custody, Round Three
And so it begins, another round of ridiculous allegations, edgy kids, miserable wife and money down the drain. A couple weeks ago, J's attorney notified us that her ex-husband, SS (or Fat Bastard, if you prefer), was suing for a return to shared parenting, all visitation at his home near Erie, us meeting him halfway for visitation, J providing him with "copies of all psychological evaluations or reports performed" on the children, the right to claim Pie on his taxes and 8 weeks' visitation in the summer. We found this fairly outrageous, for a number of reasons.
As if that weren't bad enough, yesterday we got a letter notifying us that he is going for full custody again. Don't yet know what the allegations are, as the letter just said that he believes the children would be better off living with him. Complete nonsense & it makes me wonder what lies he is going to coach the children to tell this time. Last time, it was that we dressed Pie in a dress and make-up and made him walk around the block as punishment for pooping his pants, that we gave Pie laxatives to make him poop his pants at his dad's (Uh, no, you're just stressing him out so much that he has encapresis, Dad!), and that J & her former partner smashed beer bottles all over the kitchen floor and laughed about it. Her partner was dead from heart disease when these allegations were made. Disgusting. So, the pre-trial is today & we could really use your prayers. We find out what the allegations are today, I suppose. I am so tired of all this. He has taken her to court for custody twice & has settled before trial twice, once for large sums of money...he was getting $1200 a month in child support as the non-residential parent for 2 years, plus he got spousal support and half of her 401K. Now, he pays $1200 a year for both kids. He lives in his mom's basement, so has no bills to pay. He is just an outstanding fella, let me tell you.
As if that weren't bad enough, yesterday we got a letter notifying us that he is going for full custody again. Don't yet know what the allegations are, as the letter just said that he believes the children would be better off living with him. Complete nonsense & it makes me wonder what lies he is going to coach the children to tell this time. Last time, it was that we dressed Pie in a dress and make-up and made him walk around the block as punishment for pooping his pants, that we gave Pie laxatives to make him poop his pants at his dad's (Uh, no, you're just stressing him out so much that he has encapresis, Dad!), and that J & her former partner smashed beer bottles all over the kitchen floor and laughed about it. Her partner was dead from heart disease when these allegations were made. Disgusting. So, the pre-trial is today & we could really use your prayers. We find out what the allegations are today, I suppose. I am so tired of all this. He has taken her to court for custody twice & has settled before trial twice, once for large sums of money...he was getting $1200 a month in child support as the non-residential parent for 2 years, plus he got spousal support and half of her 401K. Now, he pays $1200 a year for both kids. He lives in his mom's basement, so has no bills to pay. He is just an outstanding fella, let me tell you.
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