Thursday, August 03, 2006

August Update

You'd think with no classes in session, I would have more free time, but such is not the case. This is just a very brief check-in with my week so far. I spent almost all day Monday, along with my Beloved, being interviewed (grilled?) by the guardian ad litem for the children. He was decent to me, but really tough on J. The main thing he mentioned to me, aside from the need to give the boys a consequence every time they lie and the need to protect Pie from his brother's controlling & bullying, is that there are pictures, supposedly of our apartment, with empty liquor bottles scattered all over the place. I don't know if these are the old staged photos from the first round of custody or ones the boys staged here, perhaps using liquor bottles supplied by their father's best (and only) friend, Henry the Bartender, who wins every time he goes gambling. Oy vey! Since neither of us drinks heavily and J doesn't drink any alcohol at all but beer, this is ridiculous. It is made more so by the fact that their father left the Navy after a period of time in a military alcohol treatment program, stated reason being alcoholism, and the fact that he was arrested for domestic violence against J while abusing alcohol, by his own statement to the police and later to a psychological evaluator. Mister, if you're going to cook up false allegations, pick something that is remotely possible...and that won't hit close to home for you! The liquor bottles in our house rarely get empty because we rarely open them. I have a 3/4 full bottle of rum that I bought for my 34th birthday party. I just turned 36. I buy alcohol so infrequently that I don't even know where the liquor store here is. Another piece of information is that the ex doesn't seem to be working. Why should he? He has no bills, his mommy pays them all. I wonder if she pays for his fancy new Jeep.

Anyway, we went back to my grands' to debrief after the interview, which lasted from 1:30 until 7. We headed home about 9, stopping for carry-out Steak & Shake near Columbus & arriving home around 1:30. I was too keyed up to sleep, so I read The Hummingbird's Daughter, a wonderful book by Luis Urrea, until 2, when I made myself go to sleep. J had to work Tuesday, so didn't have the luxury of going back to sleep. I took lunch to her and heard from her shortly after that that she had a migraine, her first in months. When I picked her up at 4:30, she went right to bed. I heated up her headache pillow, rubbed her back with Tranquil Sleep oil and hit the kitchen to make some comfort food. I took in trays of roast chicken with herbes de Provence, garlic whipped potatoes with gravy, corn and Rainier cherries and we had dinner in bed.

Yesterday, her head was better, but she was still feeling pretty down. That is his entire intent, to drain her emotionally and financially because he is still furious with her for leaving him. And the kids are busy stomping on her heart. It's very hard to watch. I reminded her that all we have to do is get through another 4 years of this, less time than we have already spent together. Once Boot turns 18, I am sure he will choose to move in with his father right away. I don't think he'll fight for custody of Pie. He's never really wanted Pie. If we can survive the next 4 years, things should be easier then. The whole affair is just tragic, whichever way you look at it. I wish that their father could find a way to be happy, genuinely, heart-healingly happy. Then, he could move on & stop torturing J. And the children. I don't know if he realizes at all the damage he is inflicting on the kids. I doubt he would care if he did realize it.

Last night, I made more comfort food, Southwest beef stew, beer bread and fresh baby spinach. We watched the amazingly fatuous "America's Got Talent"...what an embarrassing show for me as an American to watch. We also watched a bit of the coverage on Fidel Castro on the news. I am sickened by the thought of Miami Cubans celebrating his grave illness in the streets. Yes, he has been cruel and done some very evil things. I should know. He put my grandparents in prison. However, to celebrate someone's serious illness or death is beyond the pale, no matter how dark they are.

This morning, I spoke to my mom. We had been looking forward to her visit this weekend, but she had bad news. Their sweet kitty, Bobo, has been very seriously ill with a respiratory infection. They have been giving him medication and rubbing baby food on his lips so he can lick it off & get nourishment. But, it wasn't until today that he could drink any water. He might be doing better. He was at the bottom of the loft ladder this morning, meowing good morning greetings. He was also able to jump up on one of the bookshelves. But, still, my mom will have to stay close, so no visit right now. I am so worried about that kitty-boy. He is fabulous. I understand why they might want him on the other side, but we still need him here. Handling a pet's illness is such a hard thing. Going through what I went through with Thor and then with Jasper, my heart is with them as they work to help him heal.

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