Friday afternoon, we drove over to PA to pick up the kiddos. I'd made Bolognese sauce, so I heated it, boiled some bucati, set out some salad, fruit & bread when we got home. I like having sit-down dinners together. Sometimes it seems like it would be more convenient just to pick up something to eat on the way home, but I think dinners around the table are important. Boot is to the point now, at 15, where he sits with us even after he's finished, just to talk. He is a good conversationalist. Although he still sometimes (okay, often) makes utterly absurd comments, he also has a lot to say of import. I was just really impressed with him over the weekend. Pie, at 13, is still pretty much in his own little world. He socializes with us, but entirely on his terms. He'd rather be absorbed in a movie or video game, stopping by the room we're in every so often to swoop in for hugs & "I love you"s or, better yet, having us watch with him. It's fun to watch their development. They both have some serious physical development going on, too. Neither looks like a little boy at all anymore & Boot's got huge biceps! Pie's legs are getting quite long-I think he's going to be taller than his brother. After Friday dinner, Boot helped me clean up the kitchen (without being asked or even hinted to), then retreated to his room to watch t.v. He is so incredibly helpful anymore.
Saturday, J had to work early, so I went back to sleep for a little while after she left, then did some schoolwork. The boys awoke around 11 and immediately got deeply immersed in a video game. I was headed to Crocker Park's farmer's market and to teen-watch for a class at the Borders café. I invited the boys along. Boot was interested in going but had promised Pie he'd hang out with him. Of course Pie loves staying home with the screens. They flipped a coin and Boot apologetically said he'd stay home with Pie. We ordered them some pizza, then I headed out. After doing some observation and getting some groceries, I got a call from J telling me that she was done at work. We took Pie to the rec center to swim while Boot had a nap. We had a grand old time in the water. My new favorite exercise is doing walking-and-swimming laps in the lazy river. What a blast! J and Pie had fun in the lazy river, raced each other doing laps in the big pool and went down the water slide. After our swim, J and I hit the sauna for a few minutes (I wish they had a hot tub), then we went home and I made dinner. Boot remained asleep. Pie, J and I had "cowboy" burgers (with chili and cheese), fries, salad and tangerines.
Pie and J fell asleep on the couch watching Constantine while I chatted with my aunt Jeannie on the phone. She told me about joining WW & that she likes the leader I recommended (and wish I still lived near), about her plans for the house, about the odd things she's found while cleaning the basement. The job she is doing is Herculean. I wish I were able to help her more with it. I wish we lived closer, too. I'm going to have some serious Jeannie withdrawal over the summer. We are planning a birthday party for me, her, my 18 y.o. cousin and my 1 y.o. cousin, all July babies. Jeannie wants to make celebratory shrimp in beer and I plan to make a fancy white cake. I worked on schoolwork after I got off the phone. Boot woke up finally and consented to be interviewed for my class. He was very serious and thoughtful about his answers. I'm pretty proud of who he is. We ate some cherry pie together and talked for awhile after the interview was done. Then, I cleaned up the kitchen and roused J so we could go to bed. Fitful sleep, then in the very wee hours, punctuated by Pie's loud voice coming through the bedroom wall every 15 minutes for an hour or so and me having to go ask him to pipe down. I finally took him paper and a pen, telling him either to refrain from talking or to write notes. That worked and I was able to sleep again.
In the morning, J got up early and made sausage gravy, biscuits and scrambled eggs with green peppers and Monterey jack cheese. I slept as late as I could before the wild ameroogins began shrieking with laughter and running through the downstairs like a herd of elephants in full stampede, then heated up some breakfast & got ready for church. We had Christian Ed recognition and also senior recognition. I spoke to one of the seniors and she is planning to major in forensic accounting, which I think is a fascinating choice. This young lady really seems to have her head on straight. Her folks have done a great job with her. I spoke to our pastor and discovered that not only is his wife (who is undergoing chemo for a brain tumor, which is scary enough alone) being treated for a blood clot, but her blood sugar also spiked this week. They are really going through it. He looks run-down and I wish there were more I could do for him. I also talked to one of the mission trip organizers. The trip this year is down to Pipestem in West Virginia. I would like to go. The boys are too young, although Boot might be able to go if he wants to. J will not be able to go since she'll have Pie. Another year. I hate being away from her, but I really think I need to go.
After church, J and Pie were both crashed out on Boot's bed while Boot played a video game. I did some school work and looked at the new Gourmet magazine. When they awoke, we went to the mall, where I did some more teen observation over lunch in the food court. Boot and Pie were at their silliest, but that didn't stop Boot from clearing the table for us, unasked. Pie got a video game that was just within his budget and Boot got himself some testosterone (just what he needs!) and some kind of bulk-up crap. I wish J wouldn't allow him to get it. She reasons that it would be illegal if it were too bad, but I disagree. I also don't think they should be allowed to get energy drinks. I worry that they will both die of heart attacks before they turn 40. They have an uncle who died of a stroke before 40 and one who died of a heart attack before 55. I returned an outfit that just didn't hang right and got a couple of tops while we were there. J found a cute jacket and shirt combo to wear to work today. We had to take the kids back to their father's right from the mall. I interviewed Pie in the car. Both boys were utterly silly and I don't know how seriously to take Pie's interview. I'd wanted to get him without his brother around to influence him, but that didn't happen.
Conversation in the car got pretty interesting, though. Boot was saying he's not afraid of their father, that he can "take him" and Pie said, "Oh, yeah? How come you were running when he had the golf club, then?" Boot said, "Oh, I'm scared of anybody with a golf club!" J and I laughed and said that was a sensible stance to take, but WTF? What is going on that their father has a golf club and Boot is running from him? Pie and Boot both told us over the weekend that they'd rather live with us, they like it better here. So much for the judge's theory that we have an unhealthy relationship with them. Pie said his dad is too strict, in the interview, which is what prompted Boot's comment in the first place. At one point, too, J said she'd always known she would have kids, always wanted them. Boot said his dad had always been "trying to get married. Loser. He always tried to get married." Pie said, "Yeah, and then he married a lesbian!" Boot said, "Yeah, way to go, Dad. You got him on that one, Mom." They thought it was hysterically funny. So, the hero, it seems, has fallen. Doesn't mean I don't think the kids would betray us all over again, given the chance to make it right, because their dad offers no forgiveness for betrayal while we do. They can totally screw us and still have a relationship with us, still be loved by us. Not so with their father. It's all or nothing with that crazy guy. I'm glad he's not my dad or my ex. I wish he wasn't J's ex, either, that she'd had illegitimate kids or at least had legitimate kids with a decent guy. But it does J's heart good to know the hero worship has ended. That sounds mean, but when you've been where we've been, it's what we can manage. Of course I'd love for him to find happiness, get a life & stop being so bitter, stop trying to get revenge on J by using the boys as weapons. But in the meantime, it's nice to know they are starting to see him for who he is.
After we dropped them off, we headed home and had chicken fattoush, along with grapes, Marcona almonds and Boursin cheese while we watched crime shows. It was the season finale of Dexter, a 2-hour episode. I hadn't meant to like that show. I mean, the "hero" is a serial killer, for Pete's sake! But, it's absorbing, even as it's disturbing and I ended up hooked. I also like that they portray Miami a lot more realistically than CSI: Miami. You never get a real feel for Miami on that show. Well, I should finish my school work so I can go out with J and celebrate Cinco de Mayo tonight.
Monday, May 05, 2008
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Honky-Tonkin'
Last weekend, I stayed at school for a weekend class called "Blue Collar Theology." Friday morning, I visited with my auntie and grandmom until it was time to go to class. From 1:30-7:00, we had class, which was really interesting. The visiting prof, Tex Sample, is a wonderful storyteller and I love his take on justice issues and the fact the he mentions heterosexism right along with racism, sexism and classism. At 7, we left the seminary for a field trip to a local honky tonk. Luckily, my friend Shelly was in the class so I had someone I know pretty well to go in with. Our assignment was to go in, in groups of no more than 3, and absorb the atmosphere, getting into conversations with folks in there. No easy job for someone whose usual approach to a bar is to take a notebook in and write to cover up my shyness. When we first arrived, we were about the only people there! Shelly and I positioned ourselves at the bar, with seats strategically left open on either side of us. Other seminarians joined us. We sat at the bar, talking and sipping drinks (the woman bartender, a nicely-built blonde with a friendly air, commented on my amaretto sour as "candy in a glass!" with a big grin). We waited and waited for folks to arrive, but not many did. Tex decided to move on to a wings place. We could stay or go with him. Shelly and I opted to stay, as did a number of others. I went over to the pool game a few of my classmates were engaged in, thinking they might be able to get into a conversation with the guys at the other table.
I ended up going over to one of them and saying, "Of all the things I suck at in pool, I suck the most at breaking." He then demonstrated the best way to do it. Not much conversation, but it was something & he was really nice. I finally noticed a small blond woman sitting alone at a table. She had a pink drink, so I went over and asked her what it was. She said she didn't know what it was called, but was happy to take me over to the bar for one of my own. While we waited, she offered me a taste of hers. Funny, when most people in church squawk over sharing the communion cup to the extent that we all end up with little shotglasses of juice rather than a common cup. It was pretty good, fruity and definitely fitting my criteria of "girly-fouffy." The bartender who'd been waiting on me said, "Are you leaving, baby?" I said I was just getting another drink and the other woman bartender told me it's called "The Shit" because when she made it up, someone tasting it said, "This is the shit!" I sat with my Shit a couple stools down from the girl I'd met. I introduced myself and asked if she was there with the band. "Yeah, I'm Heather. I'm here with the drummer." We chatted and she was highly offended that a couple of the guys in the bar were grabbing the waitress' ass and the waitress wasn't doing anything about it. I liked that about her. She asked if I was going to dance when the band started & I said, "Probably. I suck at dancing, but I like to, anyway." She said, "I suck, too, but I just say, 'Fuck 'em!' We should dance together!" A little later, she asked if I play pool. I said I do, but I suck at it. She exclaimed, "Me, too! We should play!" So, we did. Neither of us was very good, but it was fun. My classmates, failing to find anyone to talk to, hung out at a table. One of us had managed to get into a pool game with one of the guys, too, but overall, we didn't have much interaction success. We heard that some guys from the American Legion were coming later, but we had to be back in class by 8:30 the next morning, so we bailed about 10:30. Frankly, it didn't seem a whole lot different from any other bar I'd go to, but then much of my bar-going experience is from Nashville. I had fun talking to Heather and laughing over my pool-challengedness.
When I got back to my grands', my auntie helped me get a couple of the bookcases I'd bought at IKEA loaded in my car, then we all went to bed. Class lasted until 4 the next day, then I drove home. It was great to be here for the first time in 2 weeks! J had a dinner of good cheeses (Manchego, brie, extra-sharp cheddar), fruits (strawberries, Pink Lady apple slices and Pixie tangerines) and bread, plus some cabernet chocolate sauce for dipping waiting for me. She opened a bottle of Chandon and gave me a really pretty negligee she'd bought for me. We had a lovely night together, then slept in Sunday. We puttered about the house for much of the day. She made us filet mignon and bucati with spicy butter for lunch. Then, we checked out a couple of bars. I guess it was just my weekend for bars. First, we went to a sad little dive of a lesbian bar called The Paradise Inn in Cleveland. They had no Sunday liquor license (I don't drink beer) and not much was going on besides "America's Funniest Pets and People" on the t.v. The people were friendly, but it was just a little too rough for me. Reminded me of a place where my most-recent ex would be really comfortable. We ended up having dinner at a local bar called Dover Gardens, excellent double cheeseburgers made in the back by the bartender. I would definitely go back there. I think it's funny that I was so much more comfortable in that het bar than in the lesbian bar. We went to The Nickel, another lesbian bar just down the street, Thursday night and I was so much happier there. We chatted with the bartenders, played trivia, put lots of music on the jukebox, ate tacos and laughed riotously. Now, I just have to find a good gay bar in Dayton to take my class to when I teach queer theology!
I ended up going over to one of them and saying, "Of all the things I suck at in pool, I suck the most at breaking." He then demonstrated the best way to do it. Not much conversation, but it was something & he was really nice. I finally noticed a small blond woman sitting alone at a table. She had a pink drink, so I went over and asked her what it was. She said she didn't know what it was called, but was happy to take me over to the bar for one of my own. While we waited, she offered me a taste of hers. Funny, when most people in church squawk over sharing the communion cup to the extent that we all end up with little shotglasses of juice rather than a common cup. It was pretty good, fruity and definitely fitting my criteria of "girly-fouffy." The bartender who'd been waiting on me said, "Are you leaving, baby?" I said I was just getting another drink and the other woman bartender told me it's called "The Shit" because when she made it up, someone tasting it said, "This is the shit!" I sat with my Shit a couple stools down from the girl I'd met. I introduced myself and asked if she was there with the band. "Yeah, I'm Heather. I'm here with the drummer." We chatted and she was highly offended that a couple of the guys in the bar were grabbing the waitress' ass and the waitress wasn't doing anything about it. I liked that about her. She asked if I was going to dance when the band started & I said, "Probably. I suck at dancing, but I like to, anyway." She said, "I suck, too, but I just say, 'Fuck 'em!' We should dance together!" A little later, she asked if I play pool. I said I do, but I suck at it. She exclaimed, "Me, too! We should play!" So, we did. Neither of us was very good, but it was fun. My classmates, failing to find anyone to talk to, hung out at a table. One of us had managed to get into a pool game with one of the guys, too, but overall, we didn't have much interaction success. We heard that some guys from the American Legion were coming later, but we had to be back in class by 8:30 the next morning, so we bailed about 10:30. Frankly, it didn't seem a whole lot different from any other bar I'd go to, but then much of my bar-going experience is from Nashville. I had fun talking to Heather and laughing over my pool-challengedness.
When I got back to my grands', my auntie helped me get a couple of the bookcases I'd bought at IKEA loaded in my car, then we all went to bed. Class lasted until 4 the next day, then I drove home. It was great to be here for the first time in 2 weeks! J had a dinner of good cheeses (Manchego, brie, extra-sharp cheddar), fruits (strawberries, Pink Lady apple slices and Pixie tangerines) and bread, plus some cabernet chocolate sauce for dipping waiting for me. She opened a bottle of Chandon and gave me a really pretty negligee she'd bought for me. We had a lovely night together, then slept in Sunday. We puttered about the house for much of the day. She made us filet mignon and bucati with spicy butter for lunch. Then, we checked out a couple of bars. I guess it was just my weekend for bars. First, we went to a sad little dive of a lesbian bar called The Paradise Inn in Cleveland. They had no Sunday liquor license (I don't drink beer) and not much was going on besides "America's Funniest Pets and People" on the t.v. The people were friendly, but it was just a little too rough for me. Reminded me of a place where my most-recent ex would be really comfortable. We ended up having dinner at a local bar called Dover Gardens, excellent double cheeseburgers made in the back by the bartender. I would definitely go back there. I think it's funny that I was so much more comfortable in that het bar than in the lesbian bar. We went to The Nickel, another lesbian bar just down the street, Thursday night and I was so much happier there. We chatted with the bartenders, played trivia, put lots of music on the jukebox, ate tacos and laughed riotously. Now, I just have to find a good gay bar in Dayton to take my class to when I teach queer theology!
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Long-Needed Post AKA My Boring Weekend
Wow, the 6-week Calvin class I took this semester really prevented me from doing anything but reading from the Institutes of Christian Religion! 350+ pages of that stuff every week on top of my usual responsibilities was a little much. But, I'm glad I took it. Now, my paper is finished, I'm starting a youth ministry class and I kind of feel like I can breathe a bit.
There's no way to do any kind of catch-up. Had a marvelous trip to Disney with my mom, aunt Jeanie, my cousins Aaron & Leah and Leah's boyfriend. Drooled over the astonishingly gorgeous azaleas in exuberant bloom all over Savannah and came down with a bad case of the blues when I arrived back in Cleveland on Easter to a snow-covered landscape. Ugh! Luckily, it's melted and J and I were dancing on the front porch of our new house Monday night. The new place has room for each boy to have his own room and us to have both a library and a studio! Yippee!
So, I'm down at Clydesdale for the week and about to watch "Ghost Hunters" with Jeanie. It was filmed at Wright Patterson AFB, so it will be interesting to see what that's all about. Then, it's back to theology. I need to read a little bit more for my independent study. Tomorrow morning, I'll make orange lemon bars for my classes and study some.
We had the boys over the weekend and they said (at least) two very funny things. On the way home from their father's, they were arguing. Pie told Boot to shut up. Boot's response? "Can I shut down?" Clever boy. On the way home, they were play fighting. Pie said, "Okay, I don't know how this happened, but somehow my sandwich is in my nose." I think he'd not chewed very well or something & the exertion of tussling with his brother made the meatball sub come back out his nose. LOL!
Friday night, I made a taco pie and we all just hung out together. Saturday morning, J made a big egg and bacon breakfast (with a nice pot of Café Feminino from Trader Joe's), then we went to the mall with Boot. Had a blast with him. Went out to the Irish place at Crocker Park (had some good Guinness stew), then poked around the stores and soaked up some sunshine. I found a Bollywood workout DVD I think might be fun. Saturday night, J made a steak dinner (cooking from the freezer, she calls it) and we hung out at home. Sunday, I went to church. Enjoyed socializing at coffee hour to the extent that I was one of the last to leave. J fed me, then we went shopping to use up the allowance that was burning a hole in Pie's pocket. We took them home, then celebrated our 7 year anniversary of dating with dinner at Maria's, a great little Italian place in Lakewood where my aunt & uncle had their 20th anniversary party a few years ago. Then, we exchanged gifts when we got home. I gave her a bike lock, to signify that I am getting her a bike of her choosing. I'm going to get my trike fixed up so we can ride together...ahh, the library trips we can make. She gave me a really pretty gift certificate-not sure what I'll get yet. Something for the house or yard, I expect.
There's no way to do any kind of catch-up. Had a marvelous trip to Disney with my mom, aunt Jeanie, my cousins Aaron & Leah and Leah's boyfriend. Drooled over the astonishingly gorgeous azaleas in exuberant bloom all over Savannah and came down with a bad case of the blues when I arrived back in Cleveland on Easter to a snow-covered landscape. Ugh! Luckily, it's melted and J and I were dancing on the front porch of our new house Monday night. The new place has room for each boy to have his own room and us to have both a library and a studio! Yippee!
So, I'm down at Clydesdale for the week and about to watch "Ghost Hunters" with Jeanie. It was filmed at Wright Patterson AFB, so it will be interesting to see what that's all about. Then, it's back to theology. I need to read a little bit more for my independent study. Tomorrow morning, I'll make orange lemon bars for my classes and study some.
We had the boys over the weekend and they said (at least) two very funny things. On the way home from their father's, they were arguing. Pie told Boot to shut up. Boot's response? "Can I shut down?" Clever boy. On the way home, they were play fighting. Pie said, "Okay, I don't know how this happened, but somehow my sandwich is in my nose." I think he'd not chewed very well or something & the exertion of tussling with his brother made the meatball sub come back out his nose. LOL!
Friday night, I made a taco pie and we all just hung out together. Saturday morning, J made a big egg and bacon breakfast (with a nice pot of Café Feminino from Trader Joe's), then we went to the mall with Boot. Had a blast with him. Went out to the Irish place at Crocker Park (had some good Guinness stew), then poked around the stores and soaked up some sunshine. I found a Bollywood workout DVD I think might be fun. Saturday night, J made a steak dinner (cooking from the freezer, she calls it) and we hung out at home. Sunday, I went to church. Enjoyed socializing at coffee hour to the extent that I was one of the last to leave. J fed me, then we went shopping to use up the allowance that was burning a hole in Pie's pocket. We took them home, then celebrated our 7 year anniversary of dating with dinner at Maria's, a great little Italian place in Lakewood where my aunt & uncle had their 20th anniversary party a few years ago. Then, we exchanged gifts when we got home. I gave her a bike lock, to signify that I am getting her a bike of her choosing. I'm going to get my trike fixed up so we can ride together...ahh, the library trips we can make. She gave me a really pretty gift certificate-not sure what I'll get yet. Something for the house or yard, I expect.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Last Week to Rest
Next week, I start classes again. While I'm getting pretty excited about the intellectual stimulation, I am also going to miss being able to just lie in bed all day when I have a cold, reading Charles de Lint (http://www.sfsite.com/charlesdelint/index.html) rather than John Calvin. It seems that during the semester, I am so busy that I basically drive and study, with a little sleep thrown in. Maybe since I'm not taking 17 hours, that will help. I am taking 16. My goal is to get an H (Honors, the highest "grade" possible at my school) in at least one class. That was my goal last semester and I ended up with 5 of 'em, plus an HP (High Pass). Yeehaw!
Yesterday and today, I basically did nothing. I finished The Onion Girl yesterday and already find myself missing Jilly, Joe Crow Dog, Cassie and all those guys from Newford. I didn't even get dressed yesterday, just hung about the house in my white cotton nightgown. I did do some house cleaning and make dinner, though. Unfortunately, dinner was a big disappointment, to me. J liked it, but I found the seasoning overwhelming, even with my lessened sense of taste/smell. I made a "quick fondue" recipe from the West Point Hostess cookbook that used to belong to J's mom. I was skeptical in the extreme about it due to the onion soup mix, but thought it was worth a try. It was edible, but I would definitely halve or quarter the onion seasoning if I ever made it again. Really, it was no quicker than real fondue with Gruyère and Jarlsberg, and definitely not anywhere in its league. I might make it as a dip for a party sometime, though. It is much more like oniony beer cheese dip than fondue, to be sure. J napped on my lap and ceded control of the remote to me after dinner. I watched junk t.v. I usually never indulge in, so I saw part of "Punk'd" and all of "How Do I Look?" instead of J's usual murder shows. I tend to read through those half the time.
Today, I slept in again, then read a little. Since I have no de Lint to munch on, I took a few bites of Lucrecia Guerrero's Chasing Shadows (http://alpha1.fmarion.edu/~scmlr/V3/newvoice.htm for an interview with Lucrecia), which is a wonderful collection of short stories set in a fictional Arizona border town. Then, I got up and heated up some of the chicken soup J made the other night. It's more like chicken & noodles now and even more delicious. She came home for lunch and then napped in my lap for 20 minutes while I watched Paula Deen. The t.v.'s been on all afternoon even though she went back to work hours ago. Usually, I never have it on, but I got sucked in by Giada, Rachael, Sandra and now Ina, my favorite, who is making fresh lime daiquiris.
I found out about Project 365 from one of my online sisters, Allie, who is officially participating. I have decided that taking a photo to represent each day might just be a good idea for my art journal. So, I commenced today. Don't know if I'll continue or not, but today I took a picture of my Throat Coat tea steeping in one of the beautiful floral mugs J gave me at Christmas, accompanied by the tea wrapper and an orange with an interesting navel. If I knew how to post pictures on my blog, I would show y'all, but I am so not techno savvy!
Yesterday and today, I basically did nothing. I finished The Onion Girl yesterday and already find myself missing Jilly, Joe Crow Dog, Cassie and all those guys from Newford. I didn't even get dressed yesterday, just hung about the house in my white cotton nightgown. I did do some house cleaning and make dinner, though. Unfortunately, dinner was a big disappointment, to me. J liked it, but I found the seasoning overwhelming, even with my lessened sense of taste/smell. I made a "quick fondue" recipe from the West Point Hostess cookbook that used to belong to J's mom. I was skeptical in the extreme about it due to the onion soup mix, but thought it was worth a try. It was edible, but I would definitely halve or quarter the onion seasoning if I ever made it again. Really, it was no quicker than real fondue with Gruyère and Jarlsberg, and definitely not anywhere in its league. I might make it as a dip for a party sometime, though. It is much more like oniony beer cheese dip than fondue, to be sure. J napped on my lap and ceded control of the remote to me after dinner. I watched junk t.v. I usually never indulge in, so I saw part of "Punk'd" and all of "How Do I Look?" instead of J's usual murder shows. I tend to read through those half the time.
Today, I slept in again, then read a little. Since I have no de Lint to munch on, I took a few bites of Lucrecia Guerrero's Chasing Shadows (http://alpha1.fmarion.edu/~scmlr/V3/newvoice.htm for an interview with Lucrecia), which is a wonderful collection of short stories set in a fictional Arizona border town. Then, I got up and heated up some of the chicken soup J made the other night. It's more like chicken & noodles now and even more delicious. She came home for lunch and then napped in my lap for 20 minutes while I watched Paula Deen. The t.v.'s been on all afternoon even though she went back to work hours ago. Usually, I never have it on, but I got sucked in by Giada, Rachael, Sandra and now Ina, my favorite, who is making fresh lime daiquiris.
I found out about Project 365 from one of my online sisters, Allie, who is officially participating. I have decided that taking a photo to represent each day might just be a good idea for my art journal. So, I commenced today. Don't know if I'll continue or not, but today I took a picture of my Throat Coat tea steeping in one of the beautiful floral mugs J gave me at Christmas, accompanied by the tea wrapper and an orange with an interesting navel. If I knew how to post pictures on my blog, I would show y'all, but I am so not techno savvy!
Monday, January 28, 2008
Wrestling and Resting
This was our weekend to have the boys. Their father, failing to dissuade the coach from allowing us to attend the boys' away wrestling match, decided he just wouldn't allow the boys to go. So, we picked them up at his house at the scheduled hour and simply took them to the match our own selves. J had already arranged with the coach to meet the boys there. The middle school was not participating in the match, but the coach wanted the middle school team to watch the high school match. We don't want visitation to screw up athletics or other activities for them because we watched things get screwed up for them due to visitation with their father for years. Now that we have lost custody, we feel we ought to facilitate their full participation in whatever activities interest them. Even if it means getting a hotel there or traveling early or late.
So, although they were late, they did get to go. The match ended early because there weren't enough weight matches, so we didn't have to make the two hour drive at 10 or 10:30 at night, a blessing. The wrestling turned out to be very interesting. It reminded us of nothing so much as mantises fighting, all gangly arms and legs and motion. Pie wanted to go to Sheetz, a gas station with touch screen food ordering & automated milkshake machines for dinner, so we stopped on the way home.
The next day, they all slept in, ate at a sports bar nearby and went shopping. I got up early and went to my art gang get-together, spent the day socializing and putting together art journal pages. Once home, I commenced cooking, making a spicy cheeseburger soup for dinner and baking a chocolate raspberry cake (recipes coming soon at www.lunacooks.blogspot.com). J watched "Cutthroat Island" from one couch while Boot napped on the other. Pie could be heard laughing in the background as he slaughtered zombies in his room. After dinner, we all snugged in to watch the newest "Pirates of the Caribbean," in which we were all disappointed. Then, early to bed due to our projected early start Sunday.
So, although they were late, they did get to go. The match ended early because there weren't enough weight matches, so we didn't have to make the two hour drive at 10 or 10:30 at night, a blessing. The wrestling turned out to be very interesting. It reminded us of nothing so much as mantises fighting, all gangly arms and legs and motion. Pie wanted to go to Sheetz, a gas station with touch screen food ordering & automated milkshake machines for dinner, so we stopped on the way home.
The next day, they all slept in, ate at a sports bar nearby and went shopping. I got up early and went to my art gang get-together, spent the day socializing and putting together art journal pages. Once home, I commenced cooking, making a spicy cheeseburger soup for dinner and baking a chocolate raspberry cake (recipes coming soon at www.lunacooks.blogspot.com). J watched "Cutthroat Island" from one couch while Boot napped on the other. Pie could be heard laughing in the background as he slaughtered zombies in his room. After dinner, we all snugged in to watch the newest "Pirates of the Caribbean," in which we were all disappointed. Then, early to bed due to our projected early start Sunday.
They started early, all right, about 6 a.m. but I ended up in bed all day with a cold I picked up in Miami & thought I was simply going to toss off. J & the boys went back to PA for a little kids' wrestling tournament/fundrais
It was a delightful weekend, aside from being sick, and it was nice to have the boys so happy to be spending time with us. What a change!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Being Cuban for a Week
Okay, so I'm half-Cuban all the time. But, we went to visit my Miami Cuban family last week and I felt more Cuban then. Less Cuban, too, since I have barely any Spanish. We had a lovely time, anyway, and I was assured that I look exactly like a member of the family. We were warmly welcomed by my uncle & his partner. J says it's the best vacation she's ever been on and is ready to buy a condo down there. It was her first time to meet my uncle's partner, who is one of the most debonair men I've ever met. It was also her first time to meet my dad.
It had been very warm in Cleveland the week before we went, so I was satisfied to see the snow falling as we loaded our bags in the car. It's always more fun to leave for a trip to Florida when it's very cold in Ohio. Our trip was uneventful, which is always a blessing, until we arrived in Miami. We'd gotten an earlier flight out of Orlando and were looking forward to a little extra time in the sun. However, the rental car shuttle took an hour (and repeated phone calls) to come pick us up from the airport so we could rent our car. It took another chunk of time to get through the process and drive off in our Ford Taurus. Very understaffed and inefficient, not to mention the car being of a quality that it easily fit in no matter which bad section of Miami we entered. It looked somewhat out of place in the tony section of Miami Beach where my uncle lives, but we didn't get stopped by suspicious police, at least. My uncles gave us a warm welcome and we visited over wine and country pâté made by my uncle. He gave us a tour of his art and antiques, as well as introducing us to the cats, coconut palm, mango tree, key lime tree and orchids in his yard. It's amazing to me that there are such things right in his yard. What there aren't any of in his yard are lizards. J says there must be a certain radius around the house which is completely free of lizards because of the scads of outdoor cats my uncle has.
My dad came for dinner, my first time to see him in 10 years. Now that he is divorced, he seems more able to maintain relationships with family. I guess the 5-years-older-than-me wife was the deciding factor in his long second absence from my life. He is all kisses and "mi hija"s now, though. He brought a box full of baby bananas from the tree in his yard. As we were looking in the box, he pulled out a small jewelry box and said, "Oh, this must be for you." He'd gotten me a pair of 1/2 carat diamond studs. They are lovely, almost a blueish tint, but I don't really wear studs much. I put them on right away, of course, and may end up getting a second hole in each ear just so I can wear them. The sentiment behind the gift makes it even more special. We had wonderful lima bean soup that my uncle's partner made, along with real Cuban bread, for dinner. I love real Cuban bread and just can't find it north of Tampa. I am always griping to J about foods I can't get up here. After our visit, she believes me. I think her own personal "Why can't I get this in Ohio" food is churros. But, more on that later.
Tuesday, J made me a lovely plate of fresh fruits and cheese, with toast, for breakfast. We ate quickly and headed south to Monkey Jungle. I am deeply grateful for MapQuest and my good sense of direction. It was a long drive, but there was so very much to see. I love long drives for that very reason. Monkey Jungle was the only thing J really wanted to do while we were there. She left the rest in my hands. She loves monkeys, a girl after my mama's heart. Monkey Jungle is located in farm land, on a road crammed with tropical plant farms, fruit farms and even an alligator farm. As if Florida needs more of those! I will never forget the time several years ago that my mom & I drove through the Everglades and I counted 109 alligators! We paid our admission, bought boxes of dried fruit and entered the jungle. We saw all kinds of lusciously colored birds in cages and noticed that there were little monkeys running on the wire cage above us. The motto is "where humans are caged and monkeys run free" and the monkeys seem to have the humans well-trained, too! There are little food bowls hanging from chains all along the paths. The monkeys will rattle the chains or lower bowls to get people's attention. We then put food in the bowls and the monkeys quick eat it before others come and take it from them.
We attended a feeding session in the rain forest, where dozens of squirrel monkeys leapt onto a feeding stand and picked their favorites, bananas, peanuts and such. We were pelted with several empty peanut shells, but weren't, to our relief, peed or pooped on! Then, we saw more monkeys get fed at a pool of water. There was a tiny baby clinging to its mama there. Very cute. We saw an orangutan and a silverback gorilla go through their training routines. They say the silverback, King, likes to watch T.V. (Ellen DeGeneres and the Weather Channel being his favorites) and to dance when he's just doing whatever he likes. We spent hours looking at the spider monkeys & their very bizarre genitalia, the lemurs with the warning to stay back at least 5 feet, the tamarins with their beautiful orange fun and beautiful little faces.
When we'd finally had enough monkeys and J had gotten a monkey figurine made for her by a mold machine just like the ones she used to see at the zoo as a kid, we headed back to my uncle's. We paused for chocolate-covered strawberries and a fabulous fresh strawberry shake at a farm stand on the way. We had lunch at El Pollo Tropical, the Miami version of KFC with wonderful broasted chicken and delicious Cuban side dishes like yuca, plantains, black beans & rice. It's one of my dad's favorite places to eat and I had fond memories of it from my earlier Miami visits. Then, we popped in Wild Oats and got some cheeses, granola, beer and fruit to share at the house. I drove J along Ocean Drive, her first view of South Beach. She kept saying, "Look at that!" We kept driving along A1A until we reached Haulover Beach (not the nude section) and stopped to put our feet in the water. It was windy & cool, but kids were swimming, the parents bundled up and watching with big grins. I had to call my mama from the beach. Back at the house, we watched a DVD of my uncles' trip to Iguazul Falls in Brazil/Argentina while my uncle's partner cooked arroz con pollo for us. Yum! There was even flan for dessert.
Wednesday was V Day, with trips to both Vizcaya and Versailles. Vizcaya is a gorgeous villa built in the 19-teens by James Deering, one of the co-founders of International Harvester. We had some coffee in the tented gift shop, then went in to ogle the amazing furnishings and art. My favorite things were the views and the kitchens. It was fun to imagine the parties, the visitors, the house right after it was built. The very coolest thing was getting to see Samuel Yellin's work in person. He's a famous blacksmith my mom has talked about a lot and seeing his work, I can see why he became famous! Stunning! The bay out back was blue and beautiful. We had fun wandering through the gardens, especially when we saw girls having pictures taken for their quinces. Vizcaya is one of the favorite spots in Miami for quinceañera pictures. The first quince girl we saw was wearing an obscenely short denim skirt, a halter top, tall boots and a tiara. Absolutely surreal. Her friend was taking pictures of her. J said at first, she thought she must be a prostitute, based on the clothes. The other two girls were in much more age-appropriate clothing, one in a fancy wedding-style gown, white with red accents, and the other in a slightly-too-old but body-covering sparkly, tight sheath. My dad told me all about the events he did at Vizcaya back when he was one of Miami's most sought-after lighting and sound guys, parties, weddings, fashion shoots.
Lunch at Versailles was stupendous. I'd never eaten there, as my dad doesn't like it much. But, he doesn't really like Cuban food much period. He's more of a buffet guy. We split an appetizer sampler with croquetas, empanaditas, yuca frita (amazing) and mariquitas. Then, J got chicharrones de pollo and I got masitas de puerco. Both came with black beans, rice and maduros. I had two cortaditos...they make the best Cuban coffee in town. We were too full for dessert, but we did wander over to the bakery for a couple more cartaditos. Fabulous! Then, we walked around Calle Ocho (the heart of Little Havana) a bit, stopping in a drug store, where I got scolded for not knowing Spanish. In Miami, everyone can tell I'm Cuban. I was automatically given Spanish menus at Versailles, but they revoked J's after looking at her & she was given an English one instead. After visiting with my uncle while his partner cooked, we had more new food. He'd made tasajo, a very, very salty pork dish. The salt is cut by eating it with boniato, a white sweet potato, and corn.
To Be Continued...
It had been very warm in Cleveland the week before we went, so I was satisfied to see the snow falling as we loaded our bags in the car. It's always more fun to leave for a trip to Florida when it's very cold in Ohio. Our trip was uneventful, which is always a blessing, until we arrived in Miami. We'd gotten an earlier flight out of Orlando and were looking forward to a little extra time in the sun. However, the rental car shuttle took an hour (and repeated phone calls) to come pick us up from the airport so we could rent our car. It took another chunk of time to get through the process and drive off in our Ford Taurus. Very understaffed and inefficient, not to mention the car being of a quality that it easily fit in no matter which bad section of Miami we entered. It looked somewhat out of place in the tony section of Miami Beach where my uncle lives, but we didn't get stopped by suspicious police, at least. My uncles gave us a warm welcome and we visited over wine and country pâté made by my uncle. He gave us a tour of his art and antiques, as well as introducing us to the cats, coconut palm, mango tree, key lime tree and orchids in his yard. It's amazing to me that there are such things right in his yard. What there aren't any of in his yard are lizards. J says there must be a certain radius around the house which is completely free of lizards because of the scads of outdoor cats my uncle has.
My dad came for dinner, my first time to see him in 10 years. Now that he is divorced, he seems more able to maintain relationships with family. I guess the 5-years-older-than-me wife was the deciding factor in his long second absence from my life. He is all kisses and "mi hija"s now, though. He brought a box full of baby bananas from the tree in his yard. As we were looking in the box, he pulled out a small jewelry box and said, "Oh, this must be for you." He'd gotten me a pair of 1/2 carat diamond studs. They are lovely, almost a blueish tint, but I don't really wear studs much. I put them on right away, of course, and may end up getting a second hole in each ear just so I can wear them. The sentiment behind the gift makes it even more special. We had wonderful lima bean soup that my uncle's partner made, along with real Cuban bread, for dinner. I love real Cuban bread and just can't find it north of Tampa. I am always griping to J about foods I can't get up here. After our visit, she believes me. I think her own personal "Why can't I get this in Ohio" food is churros. But, more on that later.
Tuesday, J made me a lovely plate of fresh fruits and cheese, with toast, for breakfast. We ate quickly and headed south to Monkey Jungle. I am deeply grateful for MapQuest and my good sense of direction. It was a long drive, but there was so very much to see. I love long drives for that very reason. Monkey Jungle was the only thing J really wanted to do while we were there. She left the rest in my hands. She loves monkeys, a girl after my mama's heart. Monkey Jungle is located in farm land, on a road crammed with tropical plant farms, fruit farms and even an alligator farm. As if Florida needs more of those! I will never forget the time several years ago that my mom & I drove through the Everglades and I counted 109 alligators! We paid our admission, bought boxes of dried fruit and entered the jungle. We saw all kinds of lusciously colored birds in cages and noticed that there were little monkeys running on the wire cage above us. The motto is "where humans are caged and monkeys run free" and the monkeys seem to have the humans well-trained, too! There are little food bowls hanging from chains all along the paths. The monkeys will rattle the chains or lower bowls to get people's attention. We then put food in the bowls and the monkeys quick eat it before others come and take it from them.
We attended a feeding session in the rain forest, where dozens of squirrel monkeys leapt onto a feeding stand and picked their favorites, bananas, peanuts and such. We were pelted with several empty peanut shells, but weren't, to our relief, peed or pooped on! Then, we saw more monkeys get fed at a pool of water. There was a tiny baby clinging to its mama there. Very cute. We saw an orangutan and a silverback gorilla go through their training routines. They say the silverback, King, likes to watch T.V. (Ellen DeGeneres and the Weather Channel being his favorites) and to dance when he's just doing whatever he likes. We spent hours looking at the spider monkeys & their very bizarre genitalia, the lemurs with the warning to stay back at least 5 feet, the tamarins with their beautiful orange fun and beautiful little faces.
When we'd finally had enough monkeys and J had gotten a monkey figurine made for her by a mold machine just like the ones she used to see at the zoo as a kid, we headed back to my uncle's. We paused for chocolate-covered strawberries and a fabulous fresh strawberry shake at a farm stand on the way. We had lunch at El Pollo Tropical, the Miami version of KFC with wonderful broasted chicken and delicious Cuban side dishes like yuca, plantains, black beans & rice. It's one of my dad's favorite places to eat and I had fond memories of it from my earlier Miami visits. Then, we popped in Wild Oats and got some cheeses, granola, beer and fruit to share at the house. I drove J along Ocean Drive, her first view of South Beach. She kept saying, "Look at that!" We kept driving along A1A until we reached Haulover Beach (not the nude section) and stopped to put our feet in the water. It was windy & cool, but kids were swimming, the parents bundled up and watching with big grins. I had to call my mama from the beach. Back at the house, we watched a DVD of my uncles' trip to Iguazul Falls in Brazil/Argentina while my uncle's partner cooked arroz con pollo for us. Yum! There was even flan for dessert.
Wednesday was V Day, with trips to both Vizcaya and Versailles. Vizcaya is a gorgeous villa built in the 19-teens by James Deering, one of the co-founders of International Harvester. We had some coffee in the tented gift shop, then went in to ogle the amazing furnishings and art. My favorite things were the views and the kitchens. It was fun to imagine the parties, the visitors, the house right after it was built. The very coolest thing was getting to see Samuel Yellin's work in person. He's a famous blacksmith my mom has talked about a lot and seeing his work, I can see why he became famous! Stunning! The bay out back was blue and beautiful. We had fun wandering through the gardens, especially when we saw girls having pictures taken for their quinces. Vizcaya is one of the favorite spots in Miami for quinceañera pictures. The first quince girl we saw was wearing an obscenely short denim skirt, a halter top, tall boots and a tiara. Absolutely surreal. Her friend was taking pictures of her. J said at first, she thought she must be a prostitute, based on the clothes. The other two girls were in much more age-appropriate clothing, one in a fancy wedding-style gown, white with red accents, and the other in a slightly-too-old but body-covering sparkly, tight sheath. My dad told me all about the events he did at Vizcaya back when he was one of Miami's most sought-after lighting and sound guys, parties, weddings, fashion shoots.
Lunch at Versailles was stupendous. I'd never eaten there, as my dad doesn't like it much. But, he doesn't really like Cuban food much period. He's more of a buffet guy. We split an appetizer sampler with croquetas, empanaditas, yuca frita (amazing) and mariquitas. Then, J got chicharrones de pollo and I got masitas de puerco. Both came with black beans, rice and maduros. I had two cortaditos...they make the best Cuban coffee in town. We were too full for dessert, but we did wander over to the bakery for a couple more cartaditos. Fabulous! Then, we walked around Calle Ocho (the heart of Little Havana) a bit, stopping in a drug store, where I got scolded for not knowing Spanish. In Miami, everyone can tell I'm Cuban. I was automatically given Spanish menus at Versailles, but they revoked J's after looking at her & she was given an English one instead. After visiting with my uncle while his partner cooked, we had more new food. He'd made tasajo, a very, very salty pork dish. The salt is cut by eating it with boniato, a white sweet potato, and corn.
To Be Continued...
Thursday, January 10, 2008
The Rough Fall of '07
Sheesh! I am thrilled it's 2008. I had been holding back on some info due to time constraints and wanting to tell friends by phone rather than via blog. I hope this year will go a little better than last fall did! First, we ended up losing custody of the kids! I still can't believe it. We are still in the appeal process, so things might change. At least one good thing has come out of this. The boys are both able to see more clearly and both of them want to come back. Yay! Pie says, "It's like you sent us to a military camp!" We say, "Well, it's not like we had much say in the matter." They are such good company these days, although fighty with one another. I have been focusing on having faith that this is all for the best, but man, has it been hard to think that.
The next very bad thing to happen was that my adored granddaddy died on December 5. He'd been fighting leukemia on and off for years, but he seemed to be doing fairly well. The leukemia had come back, but we assumed that another round of chemo would keep it at bay again. We were more worried about my grandmom & in fact one of the last solo conversations I had with my granddad was about us being worried for her health. She'd been to the ER with chest pains and had had all kinds of other health issues. But, when I got down there after Thanksgiving, I discovered that my granddad's sore throat had gotten much worse. He was on Vicodin & could hardly walk by himself. Good thing my great big cousin Aaron was there to help! That night, I took him some Jell-o and toast at 1:30 a.m. so that he could have more Vicodin. He ate very slowly and I just hung out on the bed with him while my grandmom slept. He said, "I bet you don't have to wait around for your cats to eat." He was utterly disgusted with his weakness. He has always been terribly independent, climbing up on the counters to fix a light fixture just a few months ago. I said to him, "Yeah, but you don't wake me up all night wanting in or out of the bedroom!"
The next night, he was much worse, really out of it, throwing up & running a high fever. So, we called 911. I sure was glad to have my cousin Leah there with me to wait for the ambulance. My aunt Jeanie had just moved down here from Vermont right before my grandmom's first ER visit...thank God she was here. They took my granddaddy in and I debated whether I should return to Cleveland for the weekend or not. My grandmom insisted that I do so, saying nothing much was going to change over the weekend & that my granddad would want me to celebrate the boys' birthdays with them as planned. So, I came home & we celebrated, although I didn't feel terribly celebratory. My granddad kept asking if it was Tuesday yet, when I would return. Tuesday, I went in to visit him. He couldn't really talk, but asked me what time I got in. My mom & I stayed a while longer, then went back out to the house.
In the morning, the doctor called my grandmom & told her we'd better go in earlier than planned. Brendan hung out at the hospital with us all morning, me, my mom & grandmom, Jeanie & Aaron. The doctors said there was basically nothing more they could do, so we made the decision to switch from restorative care to palliative care. I was really afraid that he would linger for weeks in a kind of half-life. Had he been able to be released from the hospital, he would have had to go to a nursing home. He never wanted that. Brendan did the service for the dying with us, then went to grab a bite to eat. My grandmom was halfway through her bagel when the intern came and told us we'd better come. She held my arm and finished chewing her bagel bite as we walked back to my granddad's room in the ICU. We formed a circle of love around him as he died. There is nothing like having a close-knit family at times like that. The family gathered at my grands' house that night and the next day to be together. It was decided by my mom, Aunt & grandmom that I must accompany J to Las Vegas on Friday, that she needed me more than the family did. My grandmom was very forceful, telling me it's what my granddad would have wanted, too. I knew it to be true, so I drove home Thursday night and we flew out Friday.
Our week in Las Vegas was fun, although I don't know that I'd choose to go there again. Her company put us up at the Bellagio, which was utterly lovely. The room overlooked the fountains and was across from Paris, so our window was full of Eiffel Tower and hot air balloon. We ate all kinds of good food from places like Spago, Emeril's New Orleans Fishhouse and Mon Ami Gabi, which was our favorite. It's a little bistro/café in Paris. We sat on the patio and enjoyed the warm weather and the people-watching. We split an artichoke, then she had a great burger and I had the best croque monsieur I've ever had. Yum! We saw the Folies Bergere at the Tropicana, which was delightful, filled with fabulous costumes, all rhinestones and feathers. J also saw Danny Gans, the night I'd flown back for school. The day before I had to leave, I got to have lunch with a dear internet buddy and her terrific husband. It was the first time I'd met them in person & now I wish I could teleport so that I could have lunch with them more often. I can't imagine living in Las Vegas, but they assure me that where they live is nothing like the Strip. I don't know if I found the gambling or the men passing out full-color cards featuring nude women and their prices more disturbing. Sure, we played the penny slots, but I saw a lot of people looking like they were up to lose a lot of money. One cousin told me that Las Vegas was exhausting, another that we could be completely comfortable in either sweatpants or formalwear. Both were right. Vegas is kind of like Disney, if Disney were designed and operated by Quentin Tarantino. Very strange town.
When I flew back into Cleveland, I popped home to check on the cats & then drove right down to Dayton, where all was apparently well. I attended class and visited with family. I was glad to be with my grandmom, who had suffered a heart attack while I was traveling. J was horribly distraught Thursday & Friday, weeping and afraid. I felt awful that I couldn't be with her & hoped that she would feel better once I picked her up at the airport Friday. That never happened. The third dreadful thing that happened was that I totalled my beloved car! On the way home that Friday, with only a few hours until J's flight got in, I tried to switch lanes. A center lane which had been empty moments before suddenly contained a car that had moved over from the right. I jerked the wheel to get back into the left lane. I must have overcompensated because my car went wildly out of control. I ended up in the median, after about 600 feet swerving all over the left lane. My car dragged along the cable rail for another 200 feet before coming to a stop. I was not at all hurt, thank God, but my poor car was declared a total loss. Damn. I loved that car. But, cars can be replaced & she has. I now have a 2008 Sonata & J has a cute, apple green 2008 Accent hatchback. Sadly, my car would have been paid off in just 2 months. Now, we have another several years of car payments on top of exorbitant child support ($1200 a month! Good thing I graduate soon & can work full-time!). All in all, though, I am simply happy to be alive.
Christmas & New Year's were nice and quiet. We saw 3 movies with the boys. "Sweeney Todd" which I thought was very well done. "I Am Legend" which I would have liked better if I hadn't seen it Christmas Eve, which is more suited to something like "Enchanted." "Juno" which is one of the very best movies I've seen in ages. Everything about it was fantastic!
Last weekend, J and I went down to attend my granddad's memorial service. It would have been his 89th birthday. We cooked a bunch of food to feed the family who were in town from all over the country. The service was lovely, with a perfect sermon. The family spent the whole weekend visiting & I got the chance to meet cousins I have no recollection of meeting before because I was so young when they last saw me. My closer cousins, aunts & uncles were around, too. It was so good to see everyone. My mama stayed with us at the hotel, which was wonderful. My grandmom seems to be getting better day by day now that the memorial service is over. She'd been in terrible shape both physically and mentally, but is now improving greatly. Thank God! I am truly blessed to have such a close family.
The next very bad thing to happen was that my adored granddaddy died on December 5. He'd been fighting leukemia on and off for years, but he seemed to be doing fairly well. The leukemia had come back, but we assumed that another round of chemo would keep it at bay again. We were more worried about my grandmom & in fact one of the last solo conversations I had with my granddad was about us being worried for her health. She'd been to the ER with chest pains and had had all kinds of other health issues. But, when I got down there after Thanksgiving, I discovered that my granddad's sore throat had gotten much worse. He was on Vicodin & could hardly walk by himself. Good thing my great big cousin Aaron was there to help! That night, I took him some Jell-o and toast at 1:30 a.m. so that he could have more Vicodin. He ate very slowly and I just hung out on the bed with him while my grandmom slept. He said, "I bet you don't have to wait around for your cats to eat." He was utterly disgusted with his weakness. He has always been terribly independent, climbing up on the counters to fix a light fixture just a few months ago. I said to him, "Yeah, but you don't wake me up all night wanting in or out of the bedroom!"
The next night, he was much worse, really out of it, throwing up & running a high fever. So, we called 911. I sure was glad to have my cousin Leah there with me to wait for the ambulance. My aunt Jeanie had just moved down here from Vermont right before my grandmom's first ER visit...thank God she was here. They took my granddaddy in and I debated whether I should return to Cleveland for the weekend or not. My grandmom insisted that I do so, saying nothing much was going to change over the weekend & that my granddad would want me to celebrate the boys' birthdays with them as planned. So, I came home & we celebrated, although I didn't feel terribly celebratory. My granddad kept asking if it was Tuesday yet, when I would return. Tuesday, I went in to visit him. He couldn't really talk, but asked me what time I got in. My mom & I stayed a while longer, then went back out to the house.
In the morning, the doctor called my grandmom & told her we'd better go in earlier than planned. Brendan hung out at the hospital with us all morning, me, my mom & grandmom, Jeanie & Aaron. The doctors said there was basically nothing more they could do, so we made the decision to switch from restorative care to palliative care. I was really afraid that he would linger for weeks in a kind of half-life. Had he been able to be released from the hospital, he would have had to go to a nursing home. He never wanted that. Brendan did the service for the dying with us, then went to grab a bite to eat. My grandmom was halfway through her bagel when the intern came and told us we'd better come. She held my arm and finished chewing her bagel bite as we walked back to my granddad's room in the ICU. We formed a circle of love around him as he died. There is nothing like having a close-knit family at times like that. The family gathered at my grands' house that night and the next day to be together. It was decided by my mom, Aunt & grandmom that I must accompany J to Las Vegas on Friday, that she needed me more than the family did. My grandmom was very forceful, telling me it's what my granddad would have wanted, too. I knew it to be true, so I drove home Thursday night and we flew out Friday.
Our week in Las Vegas was fun, although I don't know that I'd choose to go there again. Her company put us up at the Bellagio, which was utterly lovely. The room overlooked the fountains and was across from Paris, so our window was full of Eiffel Tower and hot air balloon. We ate all kinds of good food from places like Spago, Emeril's New Orleans Fishhouse and Mon Ami Gabi, which was our favorite. It's a little bistro/café in Paris. We sat on the patio and enjoyed the warm weather and the people-watching. We split an artichoke, then she had a great burger and I had the best croque monsieur I've ever had. Yum! We saw the Folies Bergere at the Tropicana, which was delightful, filled with fabulous costumes, all rhinestones and feathers. J also saw Danny Gans, the night I'd flown back for school. The day before I had to leave, I got to have lunch with a dear internet buddy and her terrific husband. It was the first time I'd met them in person & now I wish I could teleport so that I could have lunch with them more often. I can't imagine living in Las Vegas, but they assure me that where they live is nothing like the Strip. I don't know if I found the gambling or the men passing out full-color cards featuring nude women and their prices more disturbing. Sure, we played the penny slots, but I saw a lot of people looking like they were up to lose a lot of money. One cousin told me that Las Vegas was exhausting, another that we could be completely comfortable in either sweatpants or formalwear. Both were right. Vegas is kind of like Disney, if Disney were designed and operated by Quentin Tarantino. Very strange town.
When I flew back into Cleveland, I popped home to check on the cats & then drove right down to Dayton, where all was apparently well. I attended class and visited with family. I was glad to be with my grandmom, who had suffered a heart attack while I was traveling. J was horribly distraught Thursday & Friday, weeping and afraid. I felt awful that I couldn't be with her & hoped that she would feel better once I picked her up at the airport Friday. That never happened. The third dreadful thing that happened was that I totalled my beloved car! On the way home that Friday, with only a few hours until J's flight got in, I tried to switch lanes. A center lane which had been empty moments before suddenly contained a car that had moved over from the right. I jerked the wheel to get back into the left lane. I must have overcompensated because my car went wildly out of control. I ended up in the median, after about 600 feet swerving all over the left lane. My car dragged along the cable rail for another 200 feet before coming to a stop. I was not at all hurt, thank God, but my poor car was declared a total loss. Damn. I loved that car. But, cars can be replaced & she has. I now have a 2008 Sonata & J has a cute, apple green 2008 Accent hatchback. Sadly, my car would have been paid off in just 2 months. Now, we have another several years of car payments on top of exorbitant child support ($1200 a month! Good thing I graduate soon & can work full-time!). All in all, though, I am simply happy to be alive.
Christmas & New Year's were nice and quiet. We saw 3 movies with the boys. "Sweeney Todd" which I thought was very well done. "I Am Legend" which I would have liked better if I hadn't seen it Christmas Eve, which is more suited to something like "Enchanted." "Juno" which is one of the very best movies I've seen in ages. Everything about it was fantastic!
Last weekend, J and I went down to attend my granddad's memorial service. It would have been his 89th birthday. We cooked a bunch of food to feed the family who were in town from all over the country. The service was lovely, with a perfect sermon. The family spent the whole weekend visiting & I got the chance to meet cousins I have no recollection of meeting before because I was so young when they last saw me. My closer cousins, aunts & uncles were around, too. It was so good to see everyone. My mama stayed with us at the hotel, which was wonderful. My grandmom seems to be getting better day by day now that the memorial service is over. She'd been in terrible shape both physically and mentally, but is now improving greatly. Thank God! I am truly blessed to have such a close family.
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